Stephen Colbert on Trump’s 22ft gold statue at his golf club: ‘recreational idolatry’
On Monday night, Stephen Colbert gathered his “best television friends” Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers and John Oliver on the couch after a monologue which focused on the war in the Middle East, Donald Trump’s latest slew of AI images and Sean Duffy’s return to reality TV,On The Late Show, Colbert discussed reports that the US president sent Iran a one-page memo last week outlining his peace plan,“I’m told we have a copy,” he joked, before flashing up a handwritten note in the style of a school kid’s love letter, which read: “Will you go to peace with me? Yes or no,”Over the weekend, Iran responded to Trump’s proposal with a list of demands that included reparations for the war and full control over the strait of Hormuz,Tehran also said that it as willing to suspend development of its nuclear program but for a shorter time than the 20 years requested by Trump.
“Twenty years isn’t even that long,” laughed Colbert.“Anne Hathaway looks exactly the same.And if anything, Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci and Emily Blunt are more radiant than ever.”When asked on Monday about his plans to end the war, Trump said: “I have the best plan ever.It is a very simple plan … Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon.
Very simple.”“The only thing simpler than the plan is the man who has it,” deadpanned Colbert to audience applause.The president spent this weekend’s Mother’s Day posting a slew of AI-generated images: some showed Trump surrounded by pink hearts while another proclaimed him “the greatest of all time”.“He’s also engaging in some recreational idolatry,” Colbert said of a new 22ft Trump statue at his Miami golf club.“[It’s] surprisingly wrinkly.
They forgot to steam out his pants, his shirt and his face.”The host then turned to Duffy, the transportation secretary and a former reality television personality known for shows including The Real World: Boston and ESPN’s Great Outdoor Games.Over the weekend, Duffy announced his return to TV with a reality show called The Great American Road Trip, which sees him travel across the US with his wife and nine children.“Well, it’s better than him trying to run stuff,” said Colbert.“Maybe he’ll inspire the rest of Trump’s cabinet to neglect their own jobs.
”Duffy’s reality show will see the family visiting historical landmarks across the country in a five-part YouTube series.In a trailer, the transportation secretary tells his family: “We need a song.We can’t do a road trip without the song.”“Incorrect,” Colbert responded.“You can’t do a road trip without trying to pair the Bluetooth, failing, then accidentally connecting Mom’s phone – which is halfway through the horniest fantasy novel allowed by law: it’s about a guy who’s half-duke, half-horse, all penis.
”On Fox & Friends, Rachel Campos-Duffy, the transportation secretary’s wife, promised that the show would be a family-focused antidote to the “Pornhub world” that we live in.“Incidentally, ‘real good family stuff’ is one of the most popular categories on Pornhub,” joked Colbert.Last week, the Pentagon released 160 never-before-seen files related to UFOs.In a Truth Social post, Trump said: “With these new documents and videos, the people can decide for themselves, ‘What the hell is going on?’ Have fun and enjoy!”The documents include testimony from astronauts of seeing “very bright particles of light” in the distance and “flashes of light” inside the spaceship cabin.The host then claimed to have footage of Buzz Aldrin describing those flashes: in fact, he then played a brilliantly eccentric video of Céline Dion scatting.
‘I’m unique’: Dyson Daniels on his NBA niche, missing three-pointers… and investing tips
He is a shooting guard that doesn’t often shoot. A wing deployed less for lift than pressure. The style of Australia’s best basketballer, Dyson Daniels, is difficult to describe. “It’s kind of hard for me to describe it too,” he says. “It’s unique
The Spin | ‘We have a hoot on the field’: Oswestry CC boasts 10 mother-daughter pairs
Women and Girls section has built strong family dynamic since launching in 2018 – and embraced Wags monikerThe acronym Wags first entered popular consciousness in 2006 during England’s football World Cup adventures in Baden-Baden. Victoria Beckham, Cheryl Tweedy and the gang became a sneering tabloid obsession, their matching outfits, nightclub antics and hair extensions gleefully picked apart.Twenty years later, a very different set of Wags are causing a stir at Oswestry Cricket Club on the north Shropshire-Wales border. The thriving Women and Girls section (WaGs) has an astonishing 10 mother and daughter pairs who have played competitive cricket together, ranging from 12 years old to 67.The oldest member is the irrepressible Jools Payne, team manager and founding player
How will the liberal Masai Ujiri handle leading the ultraconservative Dallas Mavericks?
On its face, the fit between Masai Ujiri and the Dallas Mavericks is perfect. “It’s almost like a match made in heaven,” Ujiri said after being introduced as the franchise’s president of basketball operations and alternate governor last week. “Every single one of us in this world is chosen for something special, and we just have to find it,” he added. “And I found basketball.”Since he became the first African to run a major sports franchise in the United States as the general manager of the Denver Nuggets in 2010, Ujiri has accomplished everything
World’s No 1 disabled golfer Kipp Popert: ‘The best need to play for a living. The sport has stopped’
Kipp Popert is a man on a mission. The 27-year‑old Englishman, who tops the disabled world rankings, uses one word a lot: “opportunity”. Popert was “shocked” to hear from the DP World Tour that its G4D circuit, which staged a handful of tournaments per year for disabled players between 2022 and 2025, has been placed into cold storage.The G4D Open, a tournament for 80 golfers with disabilities, will be staged at Celtic Manor from Thursday. It takes place thousands of miles from Pennsylvania and this week’s US PGA Championship, which last year bestowed $3
Racing need not fear Green party ‘conversation’ but must continue efforts on horse welfare
The Green party surged to record results at local and national level in last week’s elections, prompting Zack Polanski, the party’s leader in England and Wales, to suggest that two-party politics is “dead and buried”. Ladbrokes, meanwhile, subsequently cut the odds about the Green party winning the most seats at the next general election to 12-1, while an overall majority for the Greens is priced at 28-1.Not likely, in other words but, at the same time, far from impossible. In the case of a majority for Polanski’s party, it is roughly the same price as Moon Chime, the winner of the big handicap hurdle at Haydock last Saturday. However the party fares in terms of seat numbers, the Green voice in the next parliament, in three years’ time or possibly fewer, seems sure to be significantly louder than ever before
From the Pocket: Voss coached the way he played and his brutal football failed Carlton
When John Elliott died in 2021, the old, dark, imperial Carlton was dead. The new Carlton was grounded on “respect, humility and integrity”. The new president was a master networker. The new chief executive was the best administrator in football. The new coach had been one of the great players of his generation
‘Hold the line’: Burnham tells allies in parliament he still has options to return
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