Australian supermarket wheat crackers taste test: ‘All the reviewers knew which one was the real deal’
Nicholas Jordan risks it for the biscuits, sampling 19 wheat crackers in the driest taste test yetIf you value our independent journalism, we hope you’ll consider supporting us todayGet our weekend culture and lifestyle emailI’ve been wanting to write this article for over a year but I’ve been too intimidated and confused to start.There are several hundred supermarket products that could be called a cracker.Imagine a taste test with 100 versions of the same thing.Do I have the stomach space or mental bandwidth to process that much? Otherwise, how do I decide what’s in or out? Even if I did, how do I rule what is a cracker or not? How do you determine the criteria for tasting something rarely eaten on its own? Do you rate the crackers for deliciousness or compatibility? Are those two things even that different?Then there’s the anxiety of spending several days agonising over all that, and conducting a taste test only to arrive at the conclusion that Jatz are great.Do people want to read an article about why Sir Donald Bradman is better than whoever the second-best-ever cricketer is?Instead of answering all those questions, I could just have a lovely afternoon making my way through 17 kinds of chocolate or many iced coffees.
But last week, my curiosity overcame my anxiety,I sorted several hundred crackers into a complicated family tree-like categorisation system, then sorted that based on the following criteria: size and structure designed for dips, cheese and platters; unflavoured; and wheat-based,This left me with 19 products, a mix of classic, water and wafer crackers,Rice crackers, crackers fit for stacking ingredients (the Vita-Weat and Cruskits category), crackers designed for snacking without toppings (the Shapes zone) and gluten-free options will have to wait for future taste tests,I did the blind taste test with six others.
We ranked every cracker on appearance, taste and texture.Appearance made up a small percentage of the final score, but texture and taste were weighted evenly.When the taste test finished, I had five thoughts:Jatz are, predictably, awesome.So are the products trying to be like Jatz.Water crackers are the opposite of awesome.
The best cracker is both enjoyable to eat on its own and paired with other things,What the hell are wafer crackers?Arnott’s Jatz Original, 225g, $4 ($1,78 per 100g), available at major supermarketsScore: 8,5/10There are several crackers that look, smell and taste like Jatz but all the reviewers knew which one was the real deal, and almost everyone gave it the highest score of the day,I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who doesn’t love them (or their southern equivalent, Savoy).
So I don’t think it’s a good use of anyone’s time to read or write a paragraph on what they taste like.Instead, I want to address a suspicion I have: that the anxious social organisers among us are hesitant to lay them out on a picnic platter or dinner party.Will they pair with the Époisses de Bourgogne? Do they match the Arita ware? Do they fit in with my aspirational middle-class status? Maybe ask this instead: would you deny your most charismatic friend a wedding invite because their only suit doesn’t match the Pinterest board? Give yourself and your loved ones what they want.Damora Eton Original Cracker Biscuits, 225g, $1.49 ($0.
66 per 100g), available at AldiScore: 8/10If both Abba and their tribute band Bjorn Again came to Australia, would you pay $178 to see the original or $66 for something almost as good? Like any great piece of art, Jatz has imitators at a cheaper price – this and Woolworths Snapz Crackers.The Woolworths version tastes like a dialled-down, drier version of the original (it’s lower in fat and salt) – a cover band without the sequined jumpsuits.But the Aldi version is, according to the reviewers, as good or better than the original.Choosing between this and Jatz depends on your budget, brand loyalty and how much heft you want in a cracker (this one is a little denser and crunchier).La Panzanella Mini Artisan Crackers, 85g, $4.
99 ($5,87 per 100g), available at select grocersScore: 6,5/10These crackers didn’t score the highest on appearance – Ritz, Jatz and other recognisable crackers scored better,But I’ve picked out this category because it has a slightly different criteria: cultural capital, which in any middle-class world is hard to gain from anything broadly recognisable,And in that environment, a cracker that looks and tastes bespoke will flourish – look at the jagged edge, the uneven size, the wholemeal colour.
Uneven seasoning (some parts bland, some popping with salt crystals) and an oily finish make these inappropriate for solo snacking, but the snap and neutral wheaty flavour will suit your goat’s cheese or quince jam,Damora Crisps Sea Salt, 150g, $2,99 ($1,99 per 100g), available at AldiScore: 7/10A cracker shaped like a country, cut with potato and cornflour, salted more generously than most packets of chips and labelled with a giant emboldened “crisps” is pushing the boundaries of what qualifies as a cracker,Despite how thin it is, it’s solid enough to scoop guacamole and has a good snap.
Even if it isn’t a cracker, it does everything you need a cracker to do.You could say that about a Pringle too, but they won’t hold up to the curatorial rigours of the picnic aesthetic, unlike these “crisps”.Like Pringles, these also fail to pair well with Persian fetta, or anything else salty enough to kill a small mammal.Ritz Original Crackers, 227g, $3.50 ($1.
54 per 100g), available at major supermarketsScore: 7/10Ritz is unlike any other cracker on the market, and anything that stands out in a field with such homogeneity is going to be divisive.The haters scored it four or five out of 10 and described it as oily, crumbly and “like badly made junk food”.One reviewer wrote: “Way too fleshy, it dissolves in your mouth and sticks to your teeth.” The fans scored it nine out of 10.Instead of oily, they said it was buttery; instead of crumbly, melt-in-your-mouth.
You will have to decide which side you’re on.Woolworths Oven Baked Sea Salt Crackers, 185g, $2.20 ($1.19 per 100g), available at WoolworthsScore: 6.5/10“Cute frilly edges, my grandma might serve this to me on a doily,” one reviewer wrote.
In this case, grandma may have been storing them in the tin a little too long, giving them an oddly stale texture.This cracker has a decent snap but, compared with its peers, it’s far softer to bite and quickly becomes pasty in your mouth.I don’t think they’re literally stale, I think the texture is a result of how much oil they contain (per gram, this is the second-fattiest cracker after Ritz).There were more compliments about the taste, which some described as cheesy – unusual for a cracker made of wheat.My guess is that’s the result of deactivated yeast or “natural flavouring”.
But the reason I won’t be buying these is the oddly large size,If you do, be prepared to inform picnic guests that double dipping is OK, or get ready to down a colossal hunk of cheese in one go,Kurrajong Kitchen Oaklees Originals, 120g, $3 ($2,50 per 100g), available at ColesScore: 6/10These are sweet, mealy, malty and toasty, but all of it pushed a little too far, like eating cereal that has been flattened by a steamroller,Do I want to eat that as a snack? No.
Do I want to smother it with hummus? Also no.It might be OK with a soft goat’s cheese or something very sharp, but when I’m laying out crackers for a social engagement I don’t want guests to have to troubleshoot their cracker and dip pairings.You might though, and if you do, you should be looking at the flavoured section of the cracker aisle, a wild land with figs, olives, unusual textures and opportunities for platter creativity.Average price: $2.50 per 100gAverage score: 6.
5/10We tried four wafer crackers and they all scored six or six-and-a-half out of 10,If I hadn’t eaten them right after each other, I don’t think I would have been able to tell the difference,They all have a useful and pleasing rice-cracker-like brittleness, but they all go a bit gluey after a few chews, like a wheat-flavoured Roll-Up,I was shocked to find they all included cheese powder, a fact none of the reviewers picked up when tasting them,Ultimately, they’re serviceable but boring, a cracker that would be served at the Christmas parties of local government organisations.
As they’re more expensive per gram than Jatz or Eton, I will never buy them.Average price: $1.15 per 100gAverage score: 3.5/10I don’t think there’s any point in comparing water crackers.Sure, some are worse than others, but as you can see from the score table below, the best water crackers are easily worse than all other crackers.
The first red flag is the name, a comic advertisement of how boring the incoming experience is.Boredom is fine, you can put baba ganoush on that, but the real kicker is the irony: this is the least wet experience I’ve had in any taste test, and that includes eating 18 tahinis in one sitting.If I was a dentist, I’d use them as saliva ejectors.I’m surprised I hadn’t written off water crackers sooner.Given their absurdly low prices, I can forgive the oral dehydration but I can’t excuse buying them while knowing I can get a pack of Eton for cheaper.
If there is ever a global wheat shortage, water crackers should be the first thing to go,
Australian supermarket wheat crackers taste test: ‘All the reviewers knew which one was the real deal’
Nicholas Jordan risks it for the biscuits, sampling 19 wheat crackers in the driest taste test yetIf you value our independent journalism, we hope you’ll consider supporting us todayGet our weekend culture and lifestyle emailI’ve been wanting to write this article for over a year but I’ve been too intimidated and confused to start. There are several hundred supermarket products that could be called a cracker. Imagine a taste test with 100 versions of the same thing. Do I have the stomach space or mental bandwidth to process that much? Otherwise, how do I decide what’s in or out? Even if I did, how do I rule what is a cracker or not? How do you determine the criteria for tasting something rarely eaten on its own? Do you rate the crackers for deliciousness or compatibility? Are those two things even that different?Then there’s the anxiety of spending several days agonising over all that, and conducting a taste test only to arrive at the conclusion that Jatz are great. Do people want to read an article about why Sir Donald Bradman is better than whoever the second-best-ever cricketer is?Instead of answering all those questions, I could just have a lovely afternoon making my way through 17 kinds of chocolate or many iced coffees
Same sheet, different dish: how to use up excess lasagne sheets
I’ve accidentally bought too many boxes of dried lasagne sheets. How can I use them up? Jemma, by email This is sounding all too familiar to Jordon Ezra King, the man behind the A Curious Cook newsletter. “It’s funny Jemma asks this,” he says, “because I was in this exact same situation earlier this year after over-catering for a client dinner.” The first thing to say is there’s no immediate rush, he adds: “It sounds obvious, but you can keep the boxes for a long time.” Fortunately for Jemma and her shopping mishap, however, lasagne sheets are also flexible, and their shape doesn’t have to dictate what you do with them
Rukmini Iyer’s quick and easy recipe for chilli crisp topped noodles with tofu and cabbage | Quick and easy
I make variations of stir-fried mushrooms and tofu with noodles (or rice) all the time, but this one, topped with a homemade peanut chilli crisp oil, has gone straight to the top of my repertoire. And the chilli oil couldn’t be easier to make, plus there’s enough to stash in the fridge for the week to come – spoon over eggy crumpets, fried rice or cheese on toast.Prep 20 min Cook 15 min Serves 2-32 tbsp sesame oil5cm piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely grated2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely grated2 spring onions, trimmed and thinly sliced150g shiitake mushrooms, roughly chopped280g firm tofu (I like Tofoo), cut into 1cm cubes15ml soy sauce½ sweetheart cabbage, roughly chopped 200g straight-to-wok udon noodles Sea salt, to tasteFor the chilli crisp oil50ml neutral oil – I use mild olive oil5g chilli flakes 50g salted peanuts, left wholePut a large frying pan or wok on a medium heat, then add one tablespoon of the sesame oil. Stir-fry the ginger, garlic and spring onions for 30 seconds, then add the mushrooms and fry, stirring, for two minutes more. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil, then stir in the tofu and fry for two minutes on each side
The nut secret: 14 easy, delicious ways to eat more of these life-changing superfoods
A handful of nuts a day can help manage obesity and reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes and some kinds of cancer. Yet most of us don’t get enough. Here’s a no-fuss guide to getting your 30g a dayThe Guardian’s journalism is independent. We will earn a commission if you buy something through an affiliate link. Learn more
How to make the perfect beer cheese soup – recipe | Felicity Cloake's How to make the perfect …
Beer and cheese, two ingredients that don’t immediately scream soup to much of the world, are the cornerstones of one such midwestern speciality, particularly beloved in Wisconsin, with its prominent dairy and brewing industries. Beer soups are also found from Alsace to Russia (and, indeed, Wisconsin has a significant northern European heritage population). The cheese, however, appears to be an inspired American addition (though, seeing as Germany boasts both beer and cheese soups, I’m prepared to stand corrected), playing off the bittersweetness of the beer to produce a richly flavoured dish that’s perfectly suited to harsh midwestern winters. That said, it’s a treat on a cold day wherever you are.(Note: this is not to be confused with German obatzda, while a thicker version is a popular hot dip in Kentucky, in particular
Lilibet’s, London W1: ‘Pure joy, high drama, camp as heck’ – restaurant review | Grace Dent on restaurants
My new favourite restaurantUntil last week, Punk Royale was easily the strangest restaurant I’ve been to all year. “We’re all wacky here!” cried those Scandinavian punks with pans, as covered in my review here a month or so ago. But they’ve already been usurped by a spot in a repurposed office block less than half a mile away.The fabulously bizarre Lilibet’s opened her doors with little or no fanfare in mid-September, beckoning us into her world of strange. Behold the antique fireplaces, the floral chairs and wallpaper, the multitude of gilt-framed, 18th-century French paintings, the pretty etched glassware, the monogrammed napkins, the tall dinner candles
‘Sobering’ study reveals extent of bullying and mental health problems for children in Wales
Reeves rejects plea for £1bn of extra cash to cover NHS redundancy payouts
Domestic violence victims at risk under bill aimed at easing prison overcrowding, watchdog warns
Children being ‘sedated’ by algorithmic YouTube content, MPs hear
NHS trust fined £565,000 after woman killed herself on ‘death trap’ ward
UK 18- to 24-year-olds: we would like to hear your experiences of trying to find a job