Jimmy Kimmel on Trump’s ballroom: ‘What can you say? The man loves to dance’

A picture


On late night’s Cinco de Mayo edition, hosts focused on the ballooning cost of Donald Trump’s new White House ballroom, the return of the presidential fitness test and a fast-food employee who allegedly fired a gun at a customer for helping themselves to free soda,After touching on Monday night’s Met Gala, Jimmy Kimmel wondered if the glamorous event could have a home next year in Trump’s new White House ballroom,“Originally he said it was cost $200m, and it would be financed by private donors,” Kimmel said,“Then the price tag doubled to $400m, which he said would still be paid for by private donors,Then yesterday, Republicans in the Senate pushed a bill that was allocate a billion dollars of taxpayer money to to go towards this project.

” The audience loudly booed,According to the judiciary committee, the increased funds would be used to heighten security in the wake of the recent shooting at the White House correspondents’ dinner,“A billion dollars for a ballroom”, the host said despairingly,“What can you say? The man loves to dance,”“This is not a popular project,” Kimmel continued, adding that only 28% of Americans support the endeavor.

“Why does he need a room to hold balls? […] He’s already holding JD Vance’s balls, he’s got Lindsey Graham’s balls, he’s holding the balls of almost every Republican in Congress.”Kimmel then moved on to address news that Trump would be bringing back the presidential fitness test, which had previously been nixed during the Obama administration.“He wants kids to get in shape,” the host said.“He said, ‘If they don’t get in shape, they’ll never be able to marry a wealthy businessman.’”He then joked that, while the test used to judge fitness based on how many sit-ups you could do, now it will assess “how many Wendy’s tendies you can fit in your mouth”.

“Only Donald Trump would bring back a test that he has no chance of passing,”On Late Night With Seth Meyers, the host also focused on Trump’s plans to bring back the presidential fitness test,On Tuesday, he announced the initiative at the White House in front of gathered schoolkids,“In front of a group of schoolchildren, President Trump claimed that Iran would have launched a nuclear strike against the US and Israel if he hadn’t started the war,” Meyers said,“Said the kids, ‘Uh, is this going to be on the test?’”“You just know those kids were thinking, ‘Yeah, but didn’t President Obama reach a deal with Iran during his administration?’” Meyers joked.

“I mean, they were thinking it, but they were polite not to say it.”The host then moved on to discuss the latest seemingly AI-generated image posted by the White House: Trump dressed as the Mandalorian holding baby Grogu, to commemorate the unofficial Star Wars Day of 4 May (“May the fourth be with you,” etc).“The only thing I like about this image is that Grogu is looking at us like, ‘Can you believe this shit?’” Meyers said.The host concluded with news that Florida authorities had arrested a Taco Bell employee for allegedly firing a gun at a customer who filled up their water cup with soda.“Police are calling the man unstable, and Taco Bell are calling him employee of the month.

”On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert wished audiences a happy Cinco de Mayo.“For those who don’t know, Cinco de Mayo is the day a co-worker in a problematic hat is going to invite you out for margaritas,” he joked.“This Cinco de Mayo is extra special because it happens to fall on Taco Tuesday,” he added.“Taco Bell is offering free Crunchwrap Supremes, and 7-Eleven has a Bogo on burritos.And I’m guessing if you eat more than one 7-Eleven burrito, you Bogo-ing to the hospital.

”Colbert then moved on to a segment called Hormuz Nuz U Can Uz, detailing new reports that the strait of Hormuz is again closed with more than 1,600 boats and 20,000 seafarers stranded,Yesterday, Iran hit the UAE with missiles for the second day in a row,“That is dangerous, not just for Middle East peace but to my parent corporation,” said Colbert,“Paramount’s bid to buy Warner Bros relies on $24bn in Gulf funds, including the L’imad holding company, which is run by the crown prince of the UAE,So this war could endanger the UAE-approved version of HBO.

”The host then went on to imagine what such programming would look like: “the hot Euphoria reboot: Obey Your Parents.”He then discussed Trump’s presidential fitness test White House event, where the schoolkids gathered seemed confused as the president discussed the Iran war.“All right kids, now let’s read Green Eggs and Ham,” Colbert joked, imitating Trump’s voice.“The eggs are green because the chickens have mutated from radioactive fallout.But don’t worry, you won’t have to eat it because you’ll all be dead.

A picture

How to save asparagus trimmings from the food-waste bin – recipe | Waste not

Asparagus butts are a particularly tricky byproduct to tame because they’re so fibrous. I usually cut them very finely (into 5mm-thick discs, or even thinner), then boil, puree and pass them through a sieve (as in my green goddess salad dressing and asparagus soup), but even then you’ll still end up with a fair bit of fibrous waste. Enter asparagus-butt butter: a recipe that defies all odds, making the impossible possible by transforming a tough offcut into an intense compound butter that’s perfect for grilling or frying asparagus spears themselves, or for eggs, bread, gnocchi or whatever you can think of. The short fibres brown and caramelise in the butter, and in the process become the highlight of the dish, rather than the problem.This transforms an unwanted byproduct into an intense expression of the plant’s flavour

A picture

Thoran and chaat: Romy Gill’s Indian-style asparagus recipes

Spring’s first asparagus always feels like a celebration, but there’s so much more to cooking those spears than just butter and lemon. Here, those tender stems combine with bold Indian flavours in two playful dishes. The thoran, inspired by Keralan home cooking, involves stir-frying asparagus with coconut, mustard seeds and curry leaves to create something warm and comforting (my friend Simi’s mum always used to drizzle it with a little lemon juice to give the flavours a lift). The chaat, meanwhile, tossed with tangy tamarind, yoghurt, spices, crunchy chickpeas and sweet pomegranate, is a delicious snack or side. Together, they show how versatile asparagus can be: easy to cook, vibrant and moreish even in unexpected culinary traditions

A picture

Australian supermarket sauerkraut taste test: one is ‘like eating the smell of McDonald’s pickle’

It’s ‘Gut Coachella’ for Nicholas Jordan and friends, who blind taste a line-up of 20 shredded and fermented cabbage productsIf you value our independent journalism, we hope you’ll consider supporting us todayGet our weekend culture and lifestyle emailI cannot tell you how many times I’ve been introduced to a fatty, salty hunk of meat and thought, “my god, I’m going to need a pickle”. I feel the same eating cheese toasties or deli sandwiches with rich mayo-based sauces. Where is the pickle, hot sauce, citrus or ferment? Even the most savoury, juicy slab of umami is a bit much without acidity to balance it.What is the point of sauerkraut without acidity? It’s just wet, salty cabbage, and what is that for, other than deflating my spirits and inflating my gastrointestinal system? Sauerkraut should be sour; it’s the hallmark of the very thing that created it – fermentation.Why am I saying all this? After eight friends and I tasted 21 supermarket sauerkrauts, I was shocked to find some lacked not just acidity but any vigour at all

A picture

Georgina Hayden’s quick and easy recipe for spanakopita orzo | Quick and easy

For me, it isn’t really spring until the first May bank holiday; the days are longer, the flowers are out, and an abundance of green graces our shelves. This spanakopita orzo is a celebration of all things light, bright and spring. It’s a great weeknight dinner that will instantly transport you to Greece.This dish should be oozy, like a good risotto, so if your orzo absorbs all the stock, add a little more hot water to give it that requisite creamy finish.Prep 15 minCook 25 min Serves 425g butter 2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil, plus extra to serve1 bunch spring onions, trimmed and sliced2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely sliced220g baby leaf spinach, chopped1

A picture

Spring soup and bean and cheese quesadillas: Thomasina Miers’ Mexican-inspired seasonal recipes

I have always loved the evident (though not proven) link between how foodie a country is and its love of soups. In Mexico, where nose-to-tail eating is a given, broths maintain a steadying presence in any self-respecting cantina, and soups are commonplace on most menus. We don’t eat a crazy amount of meat at home, but having homemade stock in the freezer is an ingenious fast track to flavour and goodness. Here, whether your stock is chicken or vegetable, homemade or shop-bought, the joy is in the gentle spicing, a scattering of herbs, zingy tomatillos and some lovely spring leaves.There are so many different herbs in Mexico that are impossible to find here, so I’ve used bundles of more common soft herbs to try to capture the lovely breadth of flavour in this soup

A picture

How to make the perfect Spanish broad bean stew – recipe | Felicity Cloake's How to make the perfect …

I always feel sorry for broad beans, the lumpy cousin perpetually overshadowed by the charms of slender, elegant asparagus and sweet, bouncy, little peas. They’re in season at roughly the same time, but asparagus in particular gets all the glory, perhaps because so many of us are scarred by childhood experiences of large, grey wrinkly beans served in a floury white sauce (my own parents are so averse to the things that I vividly remember the first time I came across them on a Sunday roast as a teenager and had to ask a friend what they were).The Guardian’s journalism is independent. We will earn a commission if you buy something through an affiliate link. Learn more