Stephen Colbert on Trump’s 22ft gold statue at his golf club: ‘recreational idolatry’
On Monday night, Stephen Colbert gathered his “best television friends” Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers and John Oliver on the couch after a monologue which focused on the war in the Middle East, Donald Trump’s latest slew of AI images and Sean Duffy’s return to reality TV.On The Late Show, Colbert discussed reports that the US president sent Iran a one-page memo last week outlining his peace plan.“I’m told we have a copy,” he joked, before flashing up a handwritten note in the style of a school kid’s love letter, which read: “Will you go to peace with me? Yes or no.”Over the weekend, Iran responded to Trump’s proposal with a list of demands that included reparations for the war and full control over the strait of Hormuz.Tehran also said that it as willing to suspend development of its nuclear program but for a shorter time than the 20 years requested by Trump.
“Twenty years isn’t even that long,” laughed Colbert.“Anne Hathaway looks exactly the same.And if anything, Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci and Emily Blunt are more radiant than ever.”When asked on Monday about his plans to end the war, Trump said: “I have the best plan ever.It is a very simple plan … Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon.
Very simple.”“The only thing simpler than the plan is the man who has it,” deadpanned Colbert to audience applause.The president spent this weekend’s Mother’s Day posting a slew of AI-generated images: some showed Trump surrounded by pink hearts while another proclaimed him “the greatest of all time”.“He’s also engaging in some recreational idolatry,” Colbert said of a new 22ft Trump statue at his Miami golf club.“[It’s] surprisingly wrinkly.
They forgot to steam out his pants, his shirt and his face,”The host then turned to Duffy, the transportation secretary and a former reality television personality known for shows including The Real World: Boston and ESPN’s Great Outdoor Games,Over the weekend, Duffy announced his return to TV with a reality show called The Great American Road Trip, which sees him travel across the US with his wife and nine children,“Well, it’s better than him trying to run stuff,” said Colbert,“Maybe he’ll inspire the rest of Trump’s cabinet to neglect their own jobs.
”Duffy’s reality show will see the family visiting historical landmarks across the country in a five-part YouTube series.In a trailer, the transportation secretary tells his family: “We need a song.We can’t do a road trip without the song.”“Incorrect,” Colbert responded.“You can’t do a road trip without trying to pair the Bluetooth, failing, then accidentally connecting Mom’s phone – which is halfway through the horniest fantasy novel allowed by law: it’s about a guy who’s half-duke, half-horse, all penis.
”On Fox & Friends, Rachel Campos-Duffy, the transportation secretary’s wife, promised that the show would be a family-focused antidote to the “Pornhub world” that we live in,“Incidentally, ‘real good family stuff’ is one of the most popular categories on Pornhub,” joked Colbert,Last week, the Pentagon released 160 never-before-seen files related to UFOs,In a Truth Social post, Trump said: “With these new documents and videos, the people can decide for themselves, ‘What the hell is going on?’ Have fun and enjoy!”The documents include testimony from astronauts of seeing “very bright particles of light” in the distance and “flashes of light” inside the spaceship cabin,The host then claimed to have footage of Buzz Aldrin describing those flashes: in fact, he then played a brilliantly eccentric video of Céline Dion scatting.
Lab testing group Intertek to back £10.6bn takeover by Swedish firm EQT
The laboratory testing company Intertek has become the latest FTSE 100 business to agree to a takeover, backing a £10.6bn approach from a private equity firm owned by Sweden’s billionaire Wallenberg family.After rebuffing three previous approaches, Intertek’s board said it was “minded to recommend” the £60-a-share tilt from the Swedish buyout firm EQT to shareholders, if there is a firm offer.The deal is worth £10.6bn including debt, or £9
UK housebuilder Vistry warns of ‘significantly’ lower profits amid Iran war uncertainty
One of the UK’s biggest housebuilders has said its profits will be “significantly” lower, as it was forced to cut prices after heightened uncertainty caused by the US-Israeli war on Iran.Vistry’s shares plunged 10.5% in early trading on Wednesday, hitting their lowest level in nearly 15 years, as it told shareholders its first-half profits would be hit by the fallout from the Middle East conflict.In a stock market update hours before its annual general meeting, the housebuilder, which owns Bovis Homes, Countryside and Linden Homes, said circumstances had changed since it last updated investors in March. It said: “The level of macroeconomic uncertainty has increased, and with it the range of potential outcomes for the current year
Sam Altman defends OpenAI in courtroom showdown with Elon Musk
The OpenAI CEO, Sam Altman, took the stand on Tuesday to defend himself and his company against a lawsuit by Elon Musk. Altman is set to be one of the final witnesses in the trial, which has pitted two of the tech industry’s most powerful men against each other in a dramatic courtroom showdown.Musk has accused Altman and OpenAI of breaking the AI firm’s founding agreement by restructuring it into a for-profit enterprise, alleging that Altman essentially swindled him into co-founding the company and providing tens of millions in financial backing. Musk also claims Altman unjustly enriched himself in the process and is seeking the CEO’s removal from OpenAI, the redistribution of $134bn to the firm’s non-profit and the undoing of its for-profit conversion.OpenAI and Altman have rejected all of Musk’s claims, arguing that he is motivated by jealousy after a failed bid to take over the AI firm in 2018 and a subsequent departure from its board
Florida students boo graduation speaker who called AI ‘next Industrial Revolution’
Though college graduations usually consist of a speaker giving advice to students, one recent ceremony featured students giving the speaker their opinions – loudly.The University of Central Florida’s 2026 graduating class booed as a real estate development executive spoke about how “the rise of artificial intelligence is the next Industrial Revolution” and about “living in a time of profound change”.The crowd of students was so loud that Gloria Caulfield paused, turned away from the podium and threw her hands up in the air.“Woop, what happened?” she asked, before letting out a nervous laugh: “OK, I struck a chord. May I finish?”As the crowd calmed down, Caulfield proceeded
The Spin | ‘We have a hoot on the field’: Oswestry CC boasts 10 mother-daughter pairs
Women and Girls section has built strong family dynamic since launching in 2018 – and embraced Wags monikerThe acronym Wags first entered popular consciousness in 2006 during England’s football World Cup adventures in Baden-Baden. Victoria Beckham, Cheryl Tweedy and the gang became a sneering tabloid obsession, their matching outfits, nightclub antics and hair extensions gleefully picked apart.Twenty years later, a very different set of Wags are causing a stir at Oswestry Cricket Club on the north Shropshire-Wales border. The thriving Women and Girls section (WaGs) has an astonishing 10 mother and daughter pairs who have played competitive cricket together, ranging from 12 years old to 67.The oldest member is the irrepressible Jools Payne, team manager and founding player
How will the liberal Masai Ujiri handle leading the ultraconservative Dallas Mavericks?
On its face, the fit between Masai Ujiri and the Dallas Mavericks is perfect. “It’s almost like a match made in heaven,” Ujiri said after being introduced as the franchise’s president of basketball operations and alternate governor last week. “Every single one of us in this world is chosen for something special, and we just have to find it,” he added. “And I found basketball.”Since he became the first African to run a major sports franchise in the United States as the general manager of the Denver Nuggets in 2010, Ujiri has accomplished everything
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‘I still want to scream’: the loneliness and confusion of living with PMOS
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More than 6,000 children treated at obesity clinics in England, figures show
Consuming fruit and a cup of coffee a day can halve risk of unhealthy cell ageing, study suggests