Tin Roof Cafe, Maldon, Essex: ‘Come for topsoil, stay for the shortbread’ – review

A picture


A tipoff to try the Tin Roof Cafe in Maldon came with prior warning: I wouldn’t get a table easily as this all-day spot serving brunch, lunches and sweet stuff from the in-house bakery is constant, scone-fuelled bedlam,Red brick walls, greenery throughout, alfresco spaces, allotments growing fresh veg and herbs,Capacious, family-run, dog-welcoming, pocket-friendly,There’s bubble and squeak with hand-cut ham, Korean-style chicken burgers and a vegan burger called, rather brilliantly, “Peter Egan” after, I’m guessing, the animal-loving actor who played Paul in Ever Decreasing Circles,Could this place be any more adorable? No, but still, brace yourself.

“It’s one in, one out,” I was told.“There’s a seated holding pen at the front where you wait for a table.Stand your ground in there.There’s loads of sharp-elbowed garden-centre folk.I think they’re there for the Basque cheesecake.

” Ah, yes, the equally vast Claremont garden centre, just a few steps away.Cake, as we all know, is catnip to gardeners.Sends them daft.Come for 20 litres of alkaline topsoil and a terracotta trough, stay for the seasonal pavlova and thick wodges of billionaire’s shortbread.That’s millionaire’s shortbread with an extra layer of caramel decadence.

Clearly real billionaires would never eat this shortbread, as they’re all on longevity hunts fuelled by OMAD (one meal a day), that meal being a posh spin on Trill budgie food.Thankfully, at the Tin Roof Cafe there are plenty of customers on hand to eat Bill Gates’ share.Instead of wholesome eating spots like Tin Roof becoming tweely irrelevant as the years pass, it’s evident they’re becoming more necessary.In 2026, eating early, soberly, with multigenerational tables – and, probably most importantly, while trying not to spend £100+ per head – is highly desirable.Once, a social life revolving around stale scones in garden centres was a quiet admission of life’s downwards slope; nowadays, places like Tin Roof have queues out of the door and TikTok hype, while the likes of Pizza Express, or local pubs, beg for daytime trade.

Tin Roof Cafe is clearly not earnest, po-faced dining; it completely lacks that Petersham Nursery-influenced pretension where small plates come strewn with petunia leaves and there’s a gift shop with £50 notelet sets.No, this is much more down-to-earth dining, with fish finger baps, doorstep Burnham Bangers sarnies and very good five-cheese toasties on sourdough.Oozy, crisp, buttery and hefty; a shining example.We ordered a seafood sharing platter with prawns in shells, smoked salmon, anchovies on toast, a peppery smoked mackerel paté and a glut of other fishy things.A Malaysian chicken salad appeared in a large bowl with all its components laid out separately: piles of seared chicken, mango, cashew nuts, cucumber, seeds, leaves and a well-balanced sharp-sweet orange-based dressing in a separate dish.

It felt princess-like to complain that this was lovely, but that it was a build-your-own salad, the whole thing needed a good stir and adding my own dressing felt like an arduous task,Perhaps modern audiences can’t commit themselves to all the ingredients, so Tin Roof are making it easier to remove terrifying things like avocado or rocket,Still, one couldn’t fault its generosity,As we ate, the queues in reception got longer,A motorbike gang arrived – a pleasant one who liked bakewell tarts, not bedraggled, lawless menaces to society as seen in films.

Pensioner ladies who lunch, dating teenagers, couples with babies grabbing fresh air and the partners of green-fingered types bribed to carry top soil by a promise of eggs florentine and a round of berry financiers.We took cakes home; their Basque cheesecake is pretty damn good.Airy, rich, just sweet enough, blackened in the right places and with a pleasing crust.The bakewell tart is equally good; albeit of US-style Cheesecake Factory proportions.An enormous slice of coffee and walnut was less impressive, but not upsetting enough to stop me returning to Tin Roof whenever I want to fight for my right to eat banana bread at 2pm between babies, grans and hungry horticulturalists.

A not-so-hidden gem.More power to its gardening elbow.The Tin Roof Cafeteria and Bakery, Bryants Lane, Maldon, Essex CM9 6TB, 01245 204666.Open all week 8.30am-4pm; breakfast 8.

30am-11.30am, lunch noon-3pm Mon-Fri, brunch 8.30am-3pm Sat-Sun, counter food all day.From about £15 plus drinks and service
A picture

How to make a clootie dumpling – recipe | Felicity Cloake's Masterclass

Clootie dumpling is, let’s face it, a much better name than spotted dick, but if you were fond of the latter at school, you’ll probably enjoy this very similar, classic Scottish steamed pudding. Not too sweet and, thanks to the apple and carrot, lighter than it sounds, this is a proper winter dessert and the perfect end to a Burns supper, especially when served with custard or ice-cream.Prep 20 min Cook 3 hr 15 minServes 8-10110g fresh suet, or dried suet or a vegetarian alternative225g plain flour, plus extra for dusting½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp fine salt 1 tsp mixed spice 1 tsp ground ginger ¼ tsp ground allspice ¼ tsp nutmeg 110g soft brown sugar 75g fine fresh breadcrumbs 25g coarse oatmeal, or 25g extra breadcrumbs 200g currants 100g sultanas or raisins – golden ones look especially pretty 1 large green apple 1 carrot Finely grated zest of 1 unwaxed orange or lemon 1 egg, beaten2 tbsp treacle About 60ml milkHalf-fill a large saucepan for which you have a lid with water, then bring to a boil (if you have a pan with handles on the side, so much the better). Soak a clean tea towel (a smooth one, rather than anything fluffy or towel-like) or cheesecloth in water. And have ready some butcher’s string, or similar

A picture

Tin Roof Cafe, Maldon, Essex: ‘Come for topsoil, stay for the shortbread’ – review

A tipoff to try the Tin Roof Cafe in Maldon came with prior warning: I wouldn’t get a table easily as this all-day spot serving brunch, lunches and sweet stuff from the in-house bakery is constant, scone-fuelled bedlam. Red brick walls, greenery throughout, alfresco spaces, allotments growing fresh veg and herbs. Capacious, family-run, dog-welcoming, pocket-friendly. There’s bubble and squeak with hand-cut ham, Korean-style chicken burgers and a vegan burger called, rather brilliantly, “Peter Egan” after, I’m guessing, the animal-loving actor who played Paul in Ever Decreasing Circles.Could this place be any more adorable? No, but still, brace yourself

A picture

Ignore the snobbery and get into blended whisky

We have Robert Burns to thank for perhaps the greatest poem about any dish ever – a poem so good that it inspires an entire nation to dedicate an evening of each year to eating haggis, even though most people find it kind of gross.The Guardian’s journalism is independent. We will earn a commission if you buy something through an affiliate link. Learn more.No? If the “Great Chieftan o’ the Puddin-race” were that delicious, we’d all be eating it all the time, surely? And yet Burns’ Address to a Haggis is enticing enough to dispel any such doubts just once a year

A picture

Helen Goh’s recipe for Breton butter cake with marmalade | The sweet spot

A Breton butter cake is a proud product of Brittany’s butter-rich baking tradition: dense, golden and unapologetically indulgent. True to its origins, my version uses salted butter, with an added pinch of flaky salt to sharpen the flavour. It also takes a small detour from tradition: a slick of marmalade brings a fragrant bitterness, while a handful of ground almonds softens the overall richness and lends a tender crumb. The result is still buttery and luxurious, but with a brighter, more aromatic edge.Brief stints in the freezer help firm up the dough between layers, making it easier to spread the marmalade without disturbing the base

A picture

Gordon Ramsay says tax changes will make restaurants ‘lambs to the slaughter’

The celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has accused the government of cooking up a kitchen nightmare at restaurants across the country with tax changes that he says will make hospitality businesses “lambs to the slaughter”.Ramsay, whose company operates 34 restaurants in the UK including Bread Street Kitchen, Pétrus and Lucky Cat, said the industry was “facing a bloodbath”. He said restaurants were closing every day as a result of rising business rates, which came on top of higher energy, staffing and ingredient costs and little growth in consumer spending.“I’ve never seen it so bad,” Ramsay told the Standardnews site. “When I look ahead to April, when the budget measures come in, I think those of us in hospitality are lambs to the slaughter

A picture

No more sad sandwiches and soggy salads: here’s how to make a proper packed lunch

Even if you have no truck with Blue Monday, Quitter’s Day or any of the other new-year wheezes concocted by enterprising marketeers, the last weeks of January can feel like a bit of a confused slog. Seasonal colds and lurgies abound. The weather is generally at its rain-lashed and blackly overcast worst. Well-intentioned attempts at self-improvement or abstemiousness are starting to creak in the face of a desire for whatever scraps of midwinter comfort we can find.Nowhere is this more apparent than when it comes to food and, more specifically, the daily puzzle of how to have something nourishing as a working lunch