Stephen Colbert on Andrew’s arrest: ‘Let’s hear it for British justice’
Stephen Colbert discussed the arrest of the former prince Andrew and Donald Trump’s confusing new Board of Peace.The Late Show host told the audience of Epstein pal Mountbatten-Windsor’s arrest to a sea of cheers.“Yes, finally, someone, anyone!” he said.He added: “Let’s hear it for British justice, which is better than American justice because it comes with frilly wigs.”Colbert also shared the now viral image captured by a photographer of Mountbatten-Windsor lying back in a car leaving the police station.
“A classic pose known as the Nosferatu,” he said,The arrest was related to alleged misconduct in public office,“Back here in the colonies it was a big day for Donald Trump,” he said,Trump launched his so-called Board of Peace this week, where a permanent seat costs $1bn in cash and he is the chair for life,Colbert joked that it “works kinda like a strip club: cash only and Donald Trump will never leave”.
But America’s closest allies have yet to join, with the list of sign-ups including Qatar, Pakistan, Hungary, El Salvador, Egypt and Saudi Arabia.Colbert listed the countries and joked that they constitute “the Epcot of places Goofy was jailed without a trial”.It led to another unhinged ramble from Trump, during which he started talking about his love for young women.“If he doesn’t stop yapping, Pam Bondi’s gonna have to start live-redacting,” he said.Colbert said that after raising billions, the board’s first mission was “figuring out why”.
There was also chatter this week surrounding Barack Obama’s appearance on a podcast in which he said that aliens were real before later walking it back,When Trump was asked about it, he said it was an example of Obama sharing classified information and he was not supposed to be doing that,Colbert said that instead, classified information “should be safely stored in the Mar-a-Lago security toilets”,Trump also said he didn’t know about the existence of aliens as it’s just not something he talks about,Colbert joked that “while Trump never talks about meeting aliens, we do know he’s had close encounters with predators” before showing a picture of him with Epstein.
This week has also seen a large amount of sewage spilling into the Potomac River, which has been called the “largest discharge in the nation’s history”.Colbert quipped: “I thought the largest discharge in the nation’s history happened after Kid Rock and RFK Jr drank whole milk in a hot tub.”
Stock markets rally and US dollar dips after supreme court rules against Trump’s sweeping tariffs; Hat-trick of good UK economic news – as it happened
Stock market investors are welcoming the supreme court’s rejection of Donald Trump’s global tariffs.The Dow Jones industrial average, of 30 large US companies, is up 0.3% or 138 points at 49,533 points, having dipped slightly in early trading before the ruling was announced.The S&P 500 share index, which had opened flat, is now up 0.32%
Brighter UK economy gives Reeves a springboard for March statement
The economic backdrop to Rachel Reeves’s upcoming spring statement appeared to brighten on Friday after a trio of reports painted a better-than-expected picture of the UK economy.Record monthly public finances, a surge in retail spending and accelerating business activity offered the most coherent picture of recovery since last autumn, economists said, and provided the chancellor with a more positive narrative before her 3 March statement.“It’s been a hat-trick of good economics news for once for the UK,” said Sandra Horsfield, a senior economist at Investec bank. “We had a disappointing end to last year, but as things look, we may be starting 2026 on a much brighter note.”Public sector finances posted their biggest monthly budget surplus since records began in 1993, of £30
Aston Martin issues another profit warning and sells F1 naming rights for £50m
Aston Martin has warned that its losses will be worse than expected and sold its permanent naming rights to its Formula One team, as the struggling British carmaker battles to stabilise its finances.The luxury carmaker, majority-owned by the Canadian billionaire Lawrence Stroll, said its earnings for 2025 would be worse than City forecasts, its fifth profit warning since September 2024.Analysts had been expecting the struggling company to post a loss of £184m at its annual results, due to be published next Wednesday.Aston Martin delivered nearly 10% fewer cars last year than in 2024 – 5,448 in total – as US trade tariffs battered sales and the company fell short on lucrative special edition deliveries. Shares fell as much as 4% on Friday morning before recovering some ground, down 2%
Hospitality workers: tell us about the worst or rudest customers you ever dealt with
A diner in a Sydney restaurant has been caught on CCTV sprinkling armpit hair into their food “in attempt to get a free meal”. After confronting the head chef, the man allegedly then left without paying, having ordered the most expensive items on the menu.With this delightful story in mind, do you have a story of dealing with a rude or generally bad customer while working in hospitality?If you’ve worked in a bar or restaurant, you can tell us about your experience below.You can tell us your story using this form. Please include as much detail as possible
Art and antiques help lift retail sales in Great Britain to biggest monthly rise since 2024
Retail sales in Great Britain rose 1.8% in January, the largest monthly increase in almost two years, according to official data, as heavy discounting and post-Christmas sales drew consumers back to bigger ticket purchases.The rise easily beat forecasts of a 0.2% rise and was partly driven by sales of artwork and antiques sales in January, alongside continued strong sales from online jewellers, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) said. It was the biggest monthly rise since May 2024
France and Germany agreed to build the fighter jet of the future. Now they can’t agree who is in charge
France and Germany’s plan to build a fighter jet of the future, planned to come with a swarm of drones and a “combat communications cloud”, is collapsing.Friedrich Merz, the German chancellor, said this week that the €100bn programme no longer worked for him. He insisted it was “not a political dispute”, but a technical one. France needs a jet that can carry nuclear weapons and launch from aircraft carriers, while Germany does not. However, the problems go back much further
Stephen Colbert on Andrew’s arrest: ‘Let’s hear it for British justice’
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