My cultural awakening: Love Actually taught me to leave my cheating partner
Emma Thompson’s quiet suffering in the hit Christmas movie helped me to realise that I didn’t need to stay with someone who had betrayed meI was 12 when Love Actually came out,In the eyes of my younger self it was a great film – vignettes of love I could only imagine one day feeling, all coloured by the fairy lights of Christmas,And there was even a cameo from Mr Bean himself, Rowan Atkinson,The film captured the romance I craved as a preteen, the idea that maybe a kid I fancied in my class would learn the drums for me and run through airport security to ask me out,I was young enough to think it was sweet for Keira Knightley’s husband’s best friend to turn up on her doorstep declaring his quite obviously unrequited love.
I even thought it was adorable that he ruined their wedding video by filming only closeups of her face,Of course, I feel differently now about problematic moments like these – even if I do have the film to thank for introducing me to Joni Mitchell,I’d be happy to never watch it again, but there’s one scene that has always stuck with me and that is when Emma Thompson ’s character finds out her husband (Alan Rickman) is having an affair,She discovers a gift-wrapped necklace in his coat pocket and assumes it will be her Christmas present,Instead, when she opens it, she finds a CD of Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now , and the realisation that he has given the jewellery to another woman.
She goes upstairs, puts the album on, and we watch for a few tense minutes as the weight of betrayal and deceit hangs over her,She stands alone in her room only allowing herself a moment to cry silently before she heads back downstairs to her family,It moved me when I first watched it as a 12-year-old, not even really understanding what her husband had done,But there was something in her performance,The silence of it.
How she tries desperately to control her emotions in a way that, even as a preteen, I could somehow understand.As I went back to that film for the next few Christmases, I continued to be struck by Thompson’s performance in this small narrative, how much power you can hold by holding back.But also, just how sad she looked.It was this sadness that made me think to myself: if I ever find myself in that situation, I’ll leave.Watching it one Christmas as a teenager, I made a little promise to myself that I’d choose to end a relationship rather than stay and live with that pain.
Surely it would be better to finish things than be treated this way.Some years later I was in a long-term relationship.Our agreement had been monogamy, and like most relationships it was fun and good from the start, but it soon became quite obvious that things weren’t right.I see now that I was suffocated and sad for most of it, yet I had been manipulated into believing that my unhappiness was my own doing.I was unable to feel that I deserved better, so I stayed.
But one spring morning I found myself sitting in our living room, listening as he admitted to an achingly long series of betrayals.We’d had an argument that had somehow led to this admission that he’d been cheating throughout the relationship.I’d been completely blindsided.I looked around at this small life we’d built together – the messy bookshelves, the guitars hanging on the wall – and only saw the lies that had been its foundations.He wanted me to forgive him and for us to move on, and he genuinely believed I would.
But later that day as I sat alone in the bedroom, that scene from Love Actually popped into my mind.I thought of Thompson standing in the corner of her room wiping back her tears listening to Joni Mitchell.Unlike her, I was able to cry loudly, and I did.But these were more tears of sadness for all the time I felt I had lost, even wasted.It was instantly clear to me that this was my way out.
That little promise I’d made to myself watching the film one Christmas had provided me with a much-needed boundary – something clear and true when everything else felt so confused.That decision to end the relationship was the easiest I’ve ever made in my life, perhaps because I had made it so many years before.For that, I’ll be eternally grateful to Emma … and Joni.You can tell us how a cultural moment has prompted you to make a major life change by filling in the form below or emailing us on cultural.awakening@theguardian.
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Unseen Tennessee Williams radio play published in literary magazine
As one of the 20th century’s most successful playwrights, Tennessee Williams penned popular works at the very pinnacle of US theater, including A Streetcar Named Desire and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.Years before his almost unparalleled Broadway triumphs, however, the aspiring writer then known simply as Tom wrote a series of short radio plays as he struggled to find a breakthrough. One is The Strangers, a supernatural tale offering glimpses into the accomplished wordsmith that Williams would become, and published for the first time this week in the literary magazine Strand.It is a “significant find” according to scholars of Williams’s early days and upbringing in Missouri.“The play incorporates all the theatrical elements of early radio horror,” said Andrew Gulli, the publication’s managing editor
My cultural awakening: Love Actually taught me to leave my cheating partner
Emma Thompson’s quiet suffering in the hit Christmas movie helped me to realise that I didn’t need to stay with someone who had betrayed meI was 12 when Love Actually came out. In the eyes of my younger self it was a great film – vignettes of love I could only imagine one day feeling, all coloured by the fairy lights of Christmas. And there was even a cameo from Mr Bean himself, Rowan Atkinson. The film captured the romance I craved as a preteen, the idea that maybe a kid I fancied in my class would learn the drums for me and run through airport security to ask me out.I was young enough to think it was sweet for Keira Knightley’s husband’s best friend to turn up on her doorstep declaring his quite obviously unrequited love
The Guide #222: From Celebrity Traitors to The Brutalist via Bad Bunny – our roundup of the culture that mattered in 2025
It’s time to look back on a year of Traitors and Sinners, of Bad Bunnies and Such Brave Girls, with the Guide’s now annual roundup of the year’s best culture. As ever, the Guardian is already knee-deep in lists – of films (UK and US), albums (across rock and pop, and classical), TV shows, books and games, and theatre, comedy and dance. Some of those have already counted down to No 1, others will reach their respective summits in the coming days, so keep an eye on the homepage.Our list meanwhile is entirely, unapologetically partial, and definitely not as comprehensive as The Guardian’s many top 50s: there are numerous albums we never got around to hearing, and TV shows we’re still only halfway through. (Pluribus, Dope Thief and Blue Lights, I will return to you, I promise!) But hopefully it should give a flavour of a year that, despite so many headwinds, was a pretty strong one for culture
From Avatar to Amadeus: your complete entertainment guide to the week ahead
Avatar: Fire and AshOut now James Cameron comes down with a case of the Christmas blues, so to speak, as the director’s record-breaking franchise epic returns once more to planet Pandora for more internecine strife and respecting of the splendour of the natural world, rendered in dazzling motion-capture glory.Silent Night, Deadly NightOut now Actor Rohan Campbell graduates from Michael Myers wannabe in the fairly dire Halloween Ends, to main bogeyman Billy Chapman in the latest instalment of the Silent Night, Deadly Night franchise (second remake, seventh film overall, fact fans). Per franchise lore, he witnessed his parents’ murder-by-Santa aged five, and the rest is grisly history.Fackham HallOut now Jimmy Carr turns his hand to screenwriting with this parody of Downton Abbey-type films. Given the actual Downton Abbey films already play as a parody of Downtown Abbey-type films, there may not be much to add, but a cast including Thomasin McKenzie, Katherine Waterston, Damian Lewis and Anna Maxwell Martin are here to give it their best shot
Jimmy Kimmel on a tumultuous year: ‘Don’t know what the American way even is any more’
Late-night hosts reflected on a rollercoaster 2025 and Donald Trump’s combative, primetime year-end address to the nation.Jimmy Kimmel opened his final monologue of 2025 with an emotional reflection on a tumultuous year. “This has been a strange year. It’s been a hard year,” he said. “We’ve had some lows
Jimmy Kimmel on Trump’s speech: ‘Surprise primetime episode of The Worst Wing’
Late-night hosts discussed – or ignored – Donald Trump’s surprise primetime address and dug further into the explosive new interview the White House chief of staff, Susie Wiles.Jimmy Kimmel opened his Wednesday night show with an acknowledgment of the president’s 9pm ET national address, also known as a “surprise primetime episode of The Worst Wing tonight on every channel”.Trump announced only on Tuesday that he would deliver an impromptu fireside chat during the season finales of Survivor and The Floor. “It’s weird to think that had a couple of states just gone the other way, he’d be hosting one of those shows,” Kimmel joked. “Trump shouldn’t be pre-empting The Floor
Ministers raise inheritance tax threshold for farms after backlash
Deputy leader Lucy Powell says Labour must ‘stick to manifesto’ over EU customs union, in implicit rebuke to Streeting – as it happened
Reform council’s plan to shut eight care homes ‘a betrayal of local people’
Reform plan to cap aid at £1bn would damage UK’s international influence, critics warn
Keir Starmer told closer EU trade ties ‘strategic necessity’ for UK firms
Labour calls to rejoin EU customs union will become harder for Starmer to resist