Jimmy Kimmel on the US justice department’s handling of the Epstein files: ‘A brazen cover-up’
Late-night hosts recapped US attorney general Pam Bondi’s contentious congressional hearing as she faced tough questions over the justice department’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein files.Jimmy Kimmel opened Wednesday’s monologue with a begrudging acknowledgement that Donald Trump won the one and only “Undisputed Champion of Coal Award” from an organization called “the Washington Coal Club”.The prize “brings his real award total to zero”, he joked.“All he wants is awards and for everything to be named after him,” he continued.“The Kennedy Center, Dulles airport, Penn Station – I mean, if that’s the way to keep him happy, I have another suggestion for something we could name after him.
And it’s big, and I’ll think he’ll like it, because it’s something that everyone is talking about.It’s something that he actually, unlike most everything else he wants named after him, deserves to be a part of.”The host proposed adding his name to the Epstein files – “or, with your cooperation and the cooperation of others, will heretofore be known as the Trump-Epstein files”.Kimmel then tore into the files, which have become the defining albatross around the Trump administration’s neck.Though the US justice department accidentally published many of the victims’ names, it has also redacted many Epstein co-conspirators, including the US president, who reportedly appears in the files about 1m times.
“And that doesn’t even include the 3m pages they still haven’t released,” Kimmel reminded,“Which obviously puts Maga in a bit of a fix,Popping up a million times obviously isn’t a positive for the Pizzagate party,So now they’re grabbing at anything they can,” including a document that says when authorities were closing in on Epstein for the first time in 2006, Trump called the police chief in Palm Beach, Florida and said: “Thank goodness you’re stopping him, everyone has known he’s been doing this,”“And that’s the evidence they want people to see right now,” Kimmel marveled.
The ongoing saga of the Epstein files was the talk of Capitol Hill on Wednesday, where Bondi appeared unrepentant before a congressional panel.Bondi refused to apologize to several Epstein victims present in the gallery, but did accuse multiple lawmakers, including Republican Thomas Massie of Kentucky, of suffering from “Trump Derangement Syndrome”.“Yes, the ultra-conservative congressman from Kentucky who endorsed Trump three times has ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’,” Kimmel responded.“Trump himself, the man who tweeted the Obamas as monkeys the other day? Solid as a rock.Everyone else is deranged.
“I mean, seriously, there’s nothing to defend here,” he continued.“This Department of Justice is hiding the names of people who were not victims.Why are they doing that? If they have nothing to hide, why are they hiding names? That’s it.That’s the only question anybody needs to ask.“It’s maddening,” he concluded.
“It is a brazen cover-up.”And on the Daily Show, Jordan Klepper savored a particularly cringeworthy moment from the Winter Olympics, when the Norwegian skier Sturla Holm Lægreid won the bronze medal in the men’s 20km biathlon and then admitted, in a viral post-race interview, that he had cheated on his girlfriend of six months.“It has been the worst week of my life,” he said, in a plea to win her back.“I would’ve gone with a ‘thank you, mom and dad’ or a ‘thank you, God’, but instead you went with ‘guess what, world, I can’t keep it in my pants,’” Klepper laughed.“You know what, if repairing your six-month situationship is that important, I guess it’s fine to hijack the news cycle to talk about it.
I’m sure your teammate who won the gold had nothing more important to draw attention to,”In fact, it was a very emotional win for fellow Norwegian Johan-Olav Botn,Botn dedicated his gold medal to their late teammate Sivert Guttorm Bakken, who died unexpectedly in December,“Oh right, our dead teammate! I was between honoring him or talking about how much pussy I was getting,” Klepper joked,“Dude, come on! You hijacked that to try to win back your fling? This is basically like if instead of interrupting Taylor Swift, Kanye had interrupted the in memoriam segment.
”Later in the segment, Klepper touched on Bondi’s vituperative appearance before Congress.“You’d be in a bad mood too if you spent the last month redacting old man genitals from the Epstein files,” he joked.Bondi, who reacted angrily to any questions from lawmakers, “acted like a bratty senior who got called into the principal’s office”.“Her performance upset a lot of people, because they were hoping for justice for Jeffrey Epstein’s victims,” he noted.“But for Pam Bondi, there’s only one victim in all of this.
”That would be Donald Trump.Bondi repeatedly called for public apologies to the man she also called “the greatest president in American history” as well as “the most transparent president in the nation’s history”.Klepper was not impressed: “If you’re going to embarrass yourself on national television like that, at least win a bronze medal first.”
Cocktails and crepes in bed? Ravinder Bhogal’s recipes for Valentine’s Day breakfast
Give me breakfast in bed over a bunch of limp supermarket roses any day. Nothing says “I love you” more genuinely than a decadent tray of delicious things to savour between the sheets. Because V-Day falls on a weekend this year, you can do better than just buttered toast and an unbidden cup of tea. Whether it’s sweet or savoury (or even a cheeky cocktail), I’ve got you!These French crepes are given the Midas touch with a pinch of saffron. Use your favourite fish – mackerel and salmon also work well here
‘Boy kibble’: why are young men turning to dog food for meal inspiration?
The dried food, traditionally for pets, has become an unlikely influence for meal preppers. Some commenters have even claimed the trend could be an antidote to toxic masculinity Name: Boy kibble.Age: It’s new.Appearance: Like a dog’s dinner.Isn’t that what kibble is? Traditionally, yes, kibble is dried food for pets in pellet form, made of grains, vegetables and meat
Frothing over: the coffee foams and ‘indulgent’ drinks keeping Australian cafes afloat
Cold brews and matcha lattes with airy, dessert-like layers are everywhere. What’s driving the trend for blockbuster toppings?Get our weekend culture and lifestyle emailCoffee brimming with lemon myrtle cream. Matcha banked with strawberry-lychee foam. Cold brew with choc-orange froth thick enough to stuff a pillow. Every caffeinated drink I’ve ordered in Sydney recently has the appearance of a generously frosted cake
What is fibremaxxing – and how much is too much? | Kitchen aide
Why is everyone talking about fibremaxxing?Chris, by emailTikTok-born trends rarely go hand in hand with sage health advice, but that’s not to say upping our fibre – an often-forgotten part of our diets – is a bad idea. “Fibre needed its moment, so this is a good thing,” says dietitian Priya Tew. The non-digestible carbohydrate has two main functions: “There’s insoluble fibre, which is found in things such as whole grains, brown rice or vegetable skins, and I think about it like a broom,” Tew says, “in that it brushes the system out.” Then there’s soluble fibre (oats, beans, lentils), which she likens to a sponge: “It turns into this gel in your gut, and aids digestion and keeps us regular.” But that’s only part of the story, because fibre can also help lower cholesterol and stabilise blood sugar
Moroccan lamb filo pie and rhubarb panna cotta: Thomasina Miers’ Sunday best recipes
There is little as pleasing to cook in the depths of the winter as a pot of enticingly fragrant, slow-braised meat. A shoulder of lamb is one of my favourite cuts; you, or a friendly butcher, will need to trim away its excess fat, a job that will reward you with an exquisite flavour that marries beautifully with bold spicing. Here, we travel to Morocco, with sweetly aromatic ginger, turmeric and cinnamon, and follow that with cardamom, cream and rhubarb for pudding. A sumptuous, colourful feast to stave off any February blues.Many elements of this dish, with its falling apart, richly seasoned lamb and carrots encased in crisp, golden pastry, can be made the day before
Georgina Hayden’s quick and easy recipe for creamy chicken and mustard fricassee | Quick and easy
This is a one-pan dinner at its finest: elegant and full of flavour, something that feels as if it has taken more effort and time than it actually has, and versatile in its finish – serve with creamy mash, fluffy rice, boiled potatoes; even hunks of fresh baguette would be wonderful for mopping up the creamy mustard sauce. I use whatever veg is in season: purple sprouting broccoli is at its best right now, but you could add stalks of rainbow chard, shredded cavolo nero, even halved baby carrots. Play around with whatever veg you have and love.If you can’t find mustard powder, feel free to use your mustard of choice – wholegrain would work well here.Prep 5 min Cook 30 min Serves 44 skin-on chicken breasts (about 160g each)Sea salt and black pepper 2 tsp English mustard powder 1 tbsp olive oil 200g purple sprouting broccoli 30g unsalted butter 4 garlic cloves, peeled and finely sliced1 tsp dried oregano 1 tsp aleppo pepper 2½ tbsp plain flour 125ml dry white wine 500ml chicken stock 200ml single creamPut the chicken breasts on a deep plate and season generously
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