Kimmel on Trump’s AI images: ‘Someone’s been looksmaxxing!’

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On Wednesday night, late night hosts discussed Donald Trump’s fondness for religious AI images, a new way to protest ICE and Maga’s reaction to the Pope condemning the Iran war,On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the host addressed Trump’s habit of posting AI images of himself,“You know he thinks artists make these?” asked Kimmel, before showing an image of Jesus cradling Trump posted by a Maga account,“He thinks they’re paintings for real; he doesn’t realize this is an AI thing,And check out the chin and cheekbones on him.

Someone’s been looksmaxxing!“You know, it’s been a long time since God smited someone.”Kimmel then turned to Trump’s recent comments on Fox News about the UK’s forecasted economic downturn.“The UK, I would say this: they’ve got to stop with the windmills, and open up the North Sea.”“What is it with him and the windmills?” asked Kimmel.“Every problem comes back to windmills.

Every day I become more convinced that Trump’s father used to beat him with a miniature golf club in the shadow of a windmill.”Trump also told the Fox host that he ended eight wars in the first year of his second term as president, saying: “Nobody’s ever ended one war.Who’s ended one? Nobody.”“That’s right,” laughed Kimmel.“Every war in history is still going on because no one ever ended one, except him.

“This war is going so poorly for Trump, he may need Melania to hold another surprise press conference just to get Epstein back in the news again,” Kimmel said.The host also remarked on a “rough week” for JD Vance, who failed to make a deal in Iran and again had to defend Trump’s relationship to Epstein, branding reports of their friendship as a hoax.“Oh, now it’s clear,” joked Kimmel.“They weren’t best friends, they were just extremely horny acquaintances together.”Kimmel closed his monologue by addressing Minneapolis and LA protests known as Operation Dildo Blitz, where protestors affixed rubber sex toys to an ICE detention facility.

“Where did they get these dildos?” asked Kimmel.“Maybe from the Rudy Giuliani collection.It’s a nice and harmless way to let ICE know what you think of them.”After wishing a “happy tax day to all who celebrate”, Stephen Colbert focused on Americans’ attitudes towards the Iran war.Citing reports that the conflict has driven consumer sentiment to its lowest level in 70 years, the host said: “It turns out that 1956 is as far back as the numbers go, meaning that consumer confidence is at the lowest ever recorded.

“It may sound bad, but that’s only because it’s never been worse.”This week, the convenience store chain 7-Eleven announced that it will close 645 US stores this year, citing declining consumption among low-income households amid rising inflation.“Yes, that’s how bad things are in America” said Colbert.“Folks can’t afford to eat at 7-Eleven.What’s next, are Americans going to be forced to limit themselves to a Sensible Gulp [soda]?”The host then moved on to discuss Trump’s Sunday social media post of an AI image that depicted him as a Jesus-like figure.

Responding to the president’s subsequent claims that it was supposed to be him as a doctor, Colbert said, “The problem with lying to conservative Christian Maga about this photo is that they know what American Jesus looks like, and they’re not buying this bull.“Clearly, Trump is in danger of losing his key demo: goateed meat daddies.”Colbert then turned to Vance’s comments at a Tuesday event about the Pope’s criticism of Trump’s Iran war.“I think it’s very important for the Pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology,” Vance said.“Hey, JD, I know you’re Catholic, but you joined in 2019, OK?” Colbert responded.

“I’ve been genuflecting since the mid-1960s.“I think you’re out over your Catholic skis here, OK?” the host continued.“I think it’s time for you to sit down, then stand back up.Then kneel.Then stand again.

Then shake hands with people around you,Then kneel a little more, then go take communion, then go back to your pew for some more kneeling, because you’re not sneaking out of here after communion,“Because you know who left the last supper early? Judas,”
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Roast chicken, cheesy scones and a genius cocktail: Ravinder Bhogal’s recipes for cooking with lime pickle

I’m obsessed with lime pickle. It’s savoury, sour, funky, spicy and full of bold personality that enlivens anything it’s smeared on. It’s made by salting and fermenting limes with chillies and spices for a fierce, flavour-packed condiment that’s traditionally eaten as a side to poppadoms or with simple dal and rice. Over the years, I have also folded it into grilled cheese toasties, marinades for fat prawns to barbecue in the summer or made compound butters with it to smother over sweet potatoes before roasting. It’s an instant flavour bomb and my pantry is never without a jar

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Vegemite is recognised globally – but how many people know Milo was invented in Australia?

The chocolate malt powder is sold in more than 40 countries, and Australian cafe owners say there’s ‘jingoistic pride’ in serving it on their menusGet our weekend culture and lifestyle emailWhen I order the jumbo-sized Milo Godzilla at Ho Jiak in Sydney’s Haymarket, it arrives as advertised – it’s comically large. The Malaysian restaurant prepares the drink by swirling Milo powder with hot water, adding sweet drizzles of condensed milk then chilling the mix with ice. Scoops of ice-cream are added and extra choc-malt powder is showered on top. Served in a one-litre jug, it’s so big I can’t finish it solo: staff hand me three takeaway cups to transport the leftovers.Like many beloved Milo drinks, the Godzilla is native to south-east Asia

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What can I do with leftover rice? | Kitchen aide

How do I store cooked rice safely, and what can I make with it the next day?Michael, by email“It’s a bit of a running joke with rice, because I think of all the people in China who aren’t spreading their leftover rice immediately on to a tray to cool and are still alive,” says Amy Poon, of Poon’s at Somerset House in London. “But I have to be responsible and say: cool the rice as quickly as possible, within the hour, and put it in an airtight container and pop it in the fridge [or freezer] straight away.” The reason being, as food science guru Harold McGee notes in his bible On Food & Cooking, “Raw rice almost always carries dormant spores of the bacterium Bacillus cereus, which produces powerful gastrointestinal toxins. The spores can tolerate high temperatures, and some survive cooking.” In short: good storage practices will prevent bacterial growth, not to mention open a whole world of dinner opportunities

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José Pizarro’s recipe for nettle (or wild garlic) and goat’s cheese tortilla

When I was growing up in the small village of Talaván in Extremadura, Spain, we never ate nettles. They were wild plants that grew along the edges of the fields, and the sort you tried to avoid: like many children, I learned about them the hard way, brushing against them while playing and getting stung. It was only when I came to the UK that I first saw nettles used in cooking, which surprised me: suddenly, this wild plant had a place in the kitchen. Now, whenever I visit my mum, Isabel, I see them everywhere. It makes me smile to think that at this year’s Spring Garden at the Chelsea flower show, I will be cooking among a world of magnificent plants and gardens

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Gone from shop shelves, but not forgotten | Letters

How lucky for Adrian Chiles that he didn’t live in the German Democratic Republic (Rose’s Lime Marmalade? Gone. Dark chocolate Bounty? No more. But what about their heartbroken fans?, 8 April). After reunification, there were street markets selling the last of products from the old days, and there was an exhibition in a national museum – memorably called “They’ve even taken our tomato ketchup” – lamenting the loss of many food products and other features of former times, such as children’s TV programmes.Derek JanesDuns, Scottish Borders Can Adrian Chiles tell me where to find Halls’ chocolate sour lemons? Maybe they stopped being made because they turned your tongue black, but they tasted great

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Cornichon shortage leaves British sandwich shops in a pickle

With their sharp flavour and crunch, pickled cucumbers are an essential component of any sandwich worth its salt.But an unexpected shortage of cornichons has caused consternation in sandwich shops across the country as cafes scramble to get their hands on jars of the small green pickles.A favourite sandwich of hungry office workers is the simple jambon beurre. A staple across the Channel, the French sandwich contains ham, a generous amount of butter, and, crucially, a sharp, crunchy cornichon to cut through the fat.Sandwich chain Pret a Manger brought it to popularity in the UK, and a jambon beurre retails for about £4 in its shops