The world is in chaos. So thank God for the UK’s lone fixed point: Liz Truss

A picture


A world on the brink.Regime change in Venezuela.Greenland under threat from Donald Trump.Shadow fleet tanker seized by the US and the Brits in the North Atlantic.The Europeans battling to keep America onside in any Ukraine peace deal.

A woman gunned down by ICE agents in Minneapolis.So thank God that some things never change.Be grateful we still have Liz Truss.The UK’s lone fixed point.Our very own guilty secret.

The prime minister we all try our best to forget we ever had, if only Liz would let us,But Truss is like that Japanese soldier who only realised the second world war was over in 1974,For Liz, global events mean nothing,She will keep fighting the Great Betrayal of 2022 for as long as she has breath,It’s all that gives her life meaning.

Shortly before Christmas, Radon Liz decided to launch her own ultra-low-budget YouTube TV and podcast show.No expense incurred.Now, it’s possible there are some who have watched the eight subsequent shows – Liz is a role model for masochists and crackpots – but there is no need for anyone else to bother.Unless, like me, you choose to drop in out of curiosity.To check that it’s as laughably deranged as you remember.

And it is,Because each episode is essentially the same,Liz insisting she was the best prime minister the country ever had and that she was brought down by Dark Forces,Perhaps you can best judge a show by the quality of its guests,You would have thought a former prime minister would have access to some of the world’s best.

A time to call in favours.Maybe not Trump – he’s a wee bit preoccupied with imperialist adventures – but someone close to him.Marco Rubio or Pete Hegseth.Surely they are mad enough? Apparently not.Then there were all those Tory politicians who couldn’t get enough of Lizzy three and a half years ago.

Surely some of them would do her a favour.How about Kemi? Surely she could spare an hour to tell the world how much she admired the mini budget.But no.Not a single former colleague has stepped forward.Not even Chris Philp, who would do anything for attention.

He’s let it be known he’s busy for the foreseeable future,So that has left Lizzy to scrape the barrel with an array of conspiracy theorists and rightwing columnists who are just as desperate for attention as she is,Though it’s possible some are just coming along for a £200 paycheck and the laughs,And yet … imagine how many contacts Truss must have burned through in little more than a month for her to scrape the barrel with the mephitic Dan Wootton,The former showbiz editor of the Sun, famed for exclusives on how Prince Harry wore socks that didn’t match and why this meant the end of the Royal Family as we know it, turned sacked GB News gobshite.

Still, beggars can’t be choosers.So Liz began her “Podcast Extra Special” – the one no one had asked for – by reminding everyone she had been forced to resign, not for crashing the economy and being generally the most useless prime minister the country had ever had, but by the Bank of England and the Deep State, and welcoming Desperate Dan on to the show as one of the most brilliant political minds left in the country.Dan was a giant of independent journalism, Lizzy told us.One of the few people who could see the world as it really was.Desperate Dan couldn’t help but modestly agree.

His defenestration from GB News was solely due to him calling out the mainstream media every night.There was only so much truth the channel could bear.Other versions are available.Everyone else remembers Wootton being sacked by MailOnline and who left after being suspended by GB News for laughing at foul comments on air made by Laurence Fox about a female journalist and then doing everything he could to try to save his job.But for Liz and Dan, he will always be a champion of free speech.

Someone who walked away because it was the right thing to do,Reality is not their strong point,Having established his credentials as one of the foremost thinkers of his generation, Dan began what turned out to be a 20-minute rant,He had had unique access to the machinery of state,He was the Ultimate Westminster Insider, not some halfwit on the make.

You could trust Dan to tell it like it was.Lizzy had indeed been brought down by the Deep State and the “Snivel” Service – such a way with words.The same people who had brought down Boris Johnson.All those stories about Partygate and Boris’s pathological inability to not tell lies were just made up.Liz and Boris should have been the saviours of our country.

Instead they have been hung out to dry.Truss could only agree.She had been betrayed.“This is why millions of people are turning to independent shows like this one,” said Dan.At the last count, just 2,000 had bothered to tune into this particular show.

But small beginnings and all that,There’s plenty of time for the audience to grow,The awards for Best Unintentional Comedy Series should come flooding in,Desperate Dan went on to list the real enemies of the people,Sky’s Beth Rigby.

ITV’s Robert Peston.The BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg.They should all be locked up.How dare they go out and report the news! Journalism was no longer a profession.It was a racket.

Wootton went on to say how the biggest story in global history – Tommy Robinson’s Unite the Kingdom rally – had had almost no coverage in the mainstream media,But he, Dan, had recorded it all on his phone and it had been amazing,X was amazing,No mention of how it was used to create deepfake porn,“We are incorruptible,” Desperate Dan declared.

Deranged and deluded, more like.It was hard to work out who was the more stupid.Dan, Liz or the Lettuce.Time for Lizzy to wrap things up.There we had it, she said.

Proof that she had been ousted by the Deep State.She was the once and future prime minister.A queen in waiting.So do tune in again next time.But only if you really hate yourself.

The Bonfire of the Insanities by John Crace (Guardian Faber Publishing, £16,99),To support the Guardian, order your copy at guardianbookshop,com,Delivery charges may apply.

A picture

How to turn excess hard veg into fridge-raid sauerkraut – recipe | Waste not

The dry-salting fermentation method used to make sauerkraut works brilliantly on almost any firm vegetable, so you can happily explore beyond the traditional cabbage. I had a couple of carrots and a piece of squash that needed saving, so I turned them into a golden kraut with ginger, turmeric and a little orange zest for brightness. Use whatever you have to hand and let the ingredients lead your creativity.Fermenting is an enjoyable way to make the most of a seasonal ingredient or to use up surplus produce. At our restaurant, whenever we had a glut that needed using up, we used to rely on fermentation, because not only did it saves us money in the long term, it also helped us to create imaginative, delicious new products to cook with

A picture

Hurrah for veganism and Victorian sewers | Letters

As a vegan of nearly 40 years, I agree with much of what Dean Weston says about animal welfare (Letters, 30 December). But as a former civil engineer, I cannot overlook the massive category mistakes in his assertion that the government’s animal welfare strategy “treats animal suffering the way Victorian engineers treated cholera. Add a valve here, a filter there, and never question the sewer itself.”Victorian engineers did not “treat” cholera, but were arguably more effective than the medical profession in dealing with the disease. They reduced the prevalence of cholera precisely by constructing adequate sanitation

A picture

What can I use in vegetarian curries instead of coconut milk? | Kitchen aide

I want to make more vegetarian curries, but most call for a tin of coconut milk and I’m trying to cut down on saturated fats. What can I use instead? Jill, via emailCoconut milk brings silkiness and sweet richness to curries, and also mellows spices, so any substitute will likely change the nature of the dish. That said, if you really want to avoid the white stuff, Karan Gokani, author of Indian 101, would simply replace it with vegetable stock. Another easy swap (if you’re not averse to dairy) is yoghurt, says John Chantarasak, chef and co-owner of AngloThai in London, which is handy, because “that’s normally hanging about in the fridge”.Not all curries involve coconut milk, however, and it’s these that perhaps offer a better solution to Jill’s conundrum

A picture

Kenji Morimoto’s recipe for root vegetable rösti with crisp chickpeas

I’m a sucker for a rösti, and I truly believe it makes the best breakfast, brunch – or any meal, really. This one leans into the amazing varieties of root vegetables we have at our disposal, and it is especially stunning when layered and presented with all of the other elements: a bold mustard aïoli, crisp curried chickpeas, and an easy parsley and red onion salad that is quick-pickled to provide an acidic finish to a satisfying dish.These rösti are easy to customise (although I’d suggest going for a combination of at least two root vegetables); they freeze well, too, making those lazy weekend brunches that much easier.Prep 30 min Cook 30 min Serves 2-4For the chickpeas400g tin chickpeas, drained 2 tbsp olive oil ½ tsp salt 1 tsp curry powder 1 tsp smoked paprikaFor the salad80g red onion, peeled and thinly sliced 10g parsley leaves Zest of 1 lemon, plus juice of ½ 1 tsp sumac 1 pinch saltFor the mustard aïoli 100g mayonnaise 1 tbsp English mustard Juice of ½ lemonFor the rösti300g root vegetables (such as beetroot, sweet potato, parsnip), peeled and grated80g red onion, peeled and thinly sliced 2 tbsp plain flour 1 egg Neutral oil, for cookingHeat the oven to 200C (180C fan)/390F/gas 6 and line a baking sheet with baking paper. Pat the drained chickpeas dry with kitchen towel, then tip them on to the lined sheet

A picture

Adults in England eating as much salt a day as in 22 bags of crisps, study shows

Adults in England eat the same amount of salt every week as is found in 155 bags of crisps, according to analysis by a leading health charity.The British Heart Foundation, which carried out the study, said this also equated to 22 bags a day of ready salted, lightly salted or sea salt crisps.“Most of the salt we eat is hidden in the food we buy, such as bread, cereals, pre-made sauces and ready meals, so it’s hard to know how much salt we’re consuming,” said Dell Stanford, a senior BHF dietitian.“This is bad news for our heart health, as eating too much salt significantly increases the risk of high blood pressure, a major cause of heart attacks, strokes and other serious diseases.”It is estimated that eating dangerously high amounts of salt contributes to at least 5,000 deaths a year in the UK from heart attacks, strokes and other cardiovascular conditions

A picture

Rukmini Iyer’s quick and easy recipe for roast sweet potato, feta and butter bean traybake | Quick and easy

A brilliant, warming 30-minute traybake, all in one tin. I love the combination of roast sweet potatoes with crumbled feta and a bright, fresh pesto; adding butter beans to the mix brings another hit of protein, as well as getting more legumes into your diet – win-win! A jar or tin of chickpeas would work just as well, if that’s what you have in, and feel free to substitute the parsley for other soft herbs, should you wish.Prep 15 min Cook 30 min Serves 22 large sweet potatoes, scrubbed or peeled (up to you) and cut into 1½cm chunks570g jar butter beans (or 400g tin butter beans), drained and rinsed2 tbsp olive oil 2 tsp smoked paprika2 tsp flaky sea salt 200g block feta, crumbledFor the spring onion pesto 25g flat-leaf parsley, leaves and tender stems3 spring onions, trimmed and roughly chopped50g almonds, or pine nuts 50ml extra-virgin olive oilJuice of ½ lemonHeat the oven to 200C (180C fan)/390F/gas 6. Tip the sweet potato chunks, butter beans, olive oil, smoked paprika and a teaspoon of sea salt into a roasting tin or tray large enough to hold everything in almost one layer, mix well, then roast for 30 minutes.Meanwhile, blitz the parsley, spring onions, nuts, olive oil, lemon juice and half a teaspoon of salt in a high-speed blender or chopper