Jimmy Kimmel on Trump: ‘He uses his bones to feel things instead of his brain’

A picture


Late-night hosts on Monday discussed the Academy Awards, Maga’s incoherent statements on the Iran war and raised an eyebrow to Donald Trump’s claims of support from an anonymous former president.On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the host focused on Trump’s comments to the press in week three of the Iran war, or as Kimmel called it “Operation Epsteino Distracto”.On Truth Social, Trump wrote that it was a “great honour” to kill “scumbags” in Iran.“He’s been talking very tough for a guy who seems to almost be in a coma right now,” Kimmel said.“Even with all the killing he has been enjoying so much, he is very low energy lately,” the host continued.

“He talks like he’s a little drunk,He’s slurring,He’s sleepy,He’s double-fisting Diet Cokes,”When asked by Fox News on Friday when the war would be over, Trump said: “When I feel it.

When I feel it in my bones.”“That’s the problem: he uses his bones to feel things instead of his brain,” Kimmel joked.“He doesn’t know when this war is going to be over.“The only war Trump had an exit plan for was Vietnam,” he added, referencing Trump dodging the draft in the 1960s.In an interview on Air Force One, Trump also targeted Kimmel’s network of ABC over their coverage of the Iran war.

“I think it’s pretty criminal because our media companies who have no credibility whatsoever are putting out information that they know is false,” said Trump.“It’s a very serious thing for the country.I think they could be in serious jeopardy.”“Look out Ken Jennings, we are in serious jeopardy,” deadpanned Kimmel.“It’s not Celebrity Jeopardy, it’s serious Jeopardy.

To boil it down, he’s threatening to pull the licenses from any news channels whose news he doesn’t like.”Kimmel joked that perhaps news organisations and talkshow hosts should take tips from Jake Paul, the YouTuber who recently interviewed Trump.In response to Paul asking which historical figure he would like to be reincarnated as, the president couldn’t think of anyone besides himself.“I think Donald Trump right now,” he said.“My life is very exciting.

”“What a surprise he would pick himself,” Kimmel said,“I think that’s called me-incarnation,”At the opening of his monologue, Seth Meyers recapped Trump targeting Greenland, and played a January clip of the president claiming that the country’s defences amounted to “two dog sleds”,“It doesn’t make you sound tough to slam Greenland, an island with a small military,” Meyers commented,“You’re like a wrestler bragging about what you’re about to do to an 85-year-old woman.

”With a track record of alienating Nato, Meyers noted the grim irony of Trump now imploring US allies to help with the war in Iran,“You call them obsolete, sloppy and fat and now you want their help?” Meyers said,“It’s like breaking up with someone and immediately asking for their help moving,“At this point, you could probably make the case that this is going so badly because Trump mixed up the plans for war with Iran and war with Greenland,”On the president’s comments that the war would be over when he feels it “in my bones”, Meyers said: “I wouldn’t trust your bones to feel anything, buddy.

“Your Jell-O bones are barely capable of keeping you upright for an entire speech.You spent the entire State of the Union clutching the podium like Jack clutching that piece of wood at the end of Titanic.“Seriously, are you caught in a riptide or something?” Meyers continued.“Why are you white-knuckling the podium like my grandma on a rollercoaster?”The host closed out by suggesting that allies should give the president a taste of his own medicine.“You know what Nato should do just to troll him? They should say: ‘OK, we will help,’ and then send him two dog sleds.

”On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert touched on Sunday night’s Oscars and Paul Thomas Anderson’s sweep for One Battle After Another, “which I believe is a dramatic portrayal of a man trying to cancel his Disney+/Hulu bundle”,Colbert turned to the Iran war, reacting to Trump’s comments that he may order more strikes on the country’s Kharg Island “just for fun”,“Well sure,” the host deadpanned,“In the famous words of J Robert Oppenheimer: ‘Now I am become death, wheee!’”Pete Hegseth told the press on Friday that the media were inaccurately reporting the conflict, saying that “war widening” was a fake headline,“Here’s a real headline for a patriotic press,” the defence secretary suggested: “‘Iran shrinking: going underground.

’”“Here’s another fake headline,” Colbert responded.“‘Secretary Hegseth visibly agitated, alcohol on breath.’“And here’s one for a patriotic press: ‘Secretary Hegseth named diamond member of TGI Friday’s tequila honors program.’”While the war has made the US unpopular with allies, Trump claimed on Monday that he had received support from “a certain president, who I like actually.A former president who said: ‘I wish I did it.

’ But they didn’t do it.I’m doing it.” He wouldn’t identify the former president in question.“I can’t tell you, but he’s very real,” Colbert joked, impersonating Trump.“He’s as real as this table.

His name is President … Table.”
A picture

Rachel Roddy’s recipe for spaghetti with mushrooms, soft cheese and herbs | A kitchen in Rome

Before cooking something, it is never a bad idea to turn to the expert on the science of food and cooking, Harold McGee. This week, I had mushrooms, which, as he notes, are fruiting bodies, specialised structures that, encouraged by the parent body underground, force themselves up through the soil and open their umbrella-like cap so the gills or pores can release spores into passing air currents. The aim is the same as for all pushy parents: get the next generation into the world and hope they don’t get eaten in the process.I am hoping that a few million spores got out before the white and chestnut mushrooms I bought at our local supermarket were picked and packed. Mushrooms are often described as smelling and tasting earthy, but, as with most things, McGee is right

A picture

How to turn puff pastry offcuts into a brilliant cheesy snack – recipe | Waste not

After testing puff pastry for the Filter a few weeks ago, I had loads of trimmings left over, which reminded me of one of my favourite zero-waste recipes. Malfatti are biscuits made from pastry offcuts, which are seasoned, rolled in seeds and spices, baked and served with cheese. Determined to create something new with all my excess puff, I realised that it would be perfect for making misshapen cheese straws. Even if you have only a few offcuts, I implore you to top them with cheese and some sauerkraut or kimchi, then twist and bake alongside a tart or pie. They’re a brilliant little cheeky snack

A picture

Tips for downsizing recipes | Kitchen aide

Any tips for downsizing recipes to serve one? Dividing by the number of servings doesn’t always work.Melanie, by email“It’s often just common sense,” says Kitty Coles, author of Make More With Less, plus a little maths – though, as Melanie so wisely points out, you can’t always simply divide the ingredients and be done with it.First, you need to consider your cookware: “It’s really worth investing in smaller pans and a smaller skillet,” says Alexina Anatole, who is behind the Small Wins Substack. A tiny amount of liquid in a large pan, say, will get too much exposure to heat, so it’s very likely you’ll under- or overcook its contents. As Shelina Permalloo, author of What to Cook When Everyone’s Hungry, says, “The absorption method for rice is a nightmare if you’re using a wrong-sized pan

A picture

Loaded crisps: four recipes for the ‘perfect finger food’ – ranked from best to worst

Ready salted, prawn cocktail, pickled onion and smoky bacon – crisps are undoubtedly the nation’s favourite snack food, subject to a variety of staple and sometimes suspicious flavour varieties. According to one recent report, they were the UK’s snack of choice on 94% of “all consumption occasions”, often enjoyed with a complementary dip, or served in a packet ripped open on a pub table. But now, the humble bag of crisps is having a revamp.Enter: the loaded crisp bag. It’s a lot like loaded fries or nachos, in that it can be a vehicle for a whole gamut of flavours – as served, for example, at Pablos, a fast food outlet in Nottingham where anything from ground beef to molten cheese is dolloped into an opened bag of crisps

A picture

José Pizarro’s recipe for chicken and white bean stew

Chicken and beans are two of the foods I grew up with, and were often cooked in one pot and designed to be shared. It’s the kind of cooking we do at my restaurant Lolo: generous, relaxed and made to be eaten together. March sits between the seasons, when we still need comfort, but also start to look for freshness, too, and this stew feels just right for the moment. As the days get longer and spring starts to show itself, it is warming without being heavy, while the mojo verde lifts everything and gives the dish energy.Prep 10 minCook 1 hr 20 minServes 4-61 tbsp olive oil 3 banana shallots, peeled and finely sliced3 garlic cloves, peeled and sliced 3-4 sprigs fresh oregano 1 tsp smoked sweet paprika 1 pinch saffron strands Sea salt and black pepper 1 large chicken (1

A picture

Peter Smith obituary

My father, Peter Smith, who has died aged 97, set up a pioneering health food store in the unlikely setting of Scunthorpe, Lincolnshire, in the late 1950s, at a time when the pursuit of vegetarianism and healthy eating was a fringe interest.He ran the shop until the mid-1960s before spending a number of years living and teaching in Japan and then opening up another health food outlet in Surrey in the early 70s, guiding it successfully into the late 90s, by which time his advocacy of healthy diets had become much more mainstream.Born in Cottam, on the Nottinghamshire-Lincolnshire border, to Jack and Doris (nee Womble), Peter was raised in the lively setting of their pub, the Railway Inn in Leverton, where he flourished. As a child he showed a talent for snooker, touring local halls to play in charity matches and displaying the confidence that would mark his later life.After leaving Scunthorpe technical high school he did three years of national service from 1946 to 1949 with the Royal Air Force as an engineer and was posted to Iraq, an experience that sparked a fascination with foreign cultures, food and travel