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Jon Stewart on White House correspondents’ dinner: ‘We can’t even pull off a dinner that shouldn’t have existed in the first place’

1 day ago
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Late-night hosts responded to the White House correspondents’ dinner shooting and Donald and Melania Trump’s attempts to blame political violence on Jimmy Kimmel’s jokes.Jon Stewart resumed his Monday night chair at the Daily Show less than two days after the shocking attack at the White House correspondents’ dinner on Saturday night, which resulted in the arrest of one man and, thankfully, no injuries.“It was supposed to be an evening of fun and merriment until, like most things in America, it was interrupted by gunfire,” Stewart said.“This is why we can’t have nice things.And to be perfectly frank, it’s not even a nice thing.

Nobody wanted this fucking dinner in the first place!“We’re so fucked in this country right now,” he added.“We can’t even pull off a dinner that shouldn’t have existed in the first place.Hey, let’s celebrate the first amendment with an administration that’s doing everything it can do to destroy it.”Stewart went on to replay some footage from the chaos during the attack, with clips of people grabbing bottles of alcohol for themselves and one man continuing to calmly eat his salad as Secret Service agents rushed to evacuate the president and thwart the attacker.“There have been times I have been very worried about artificial intelligence and whether or not it’s going to replace us,” Stewart responded.

“And then there are other times where I think, ‘Hey, AI, can you start Monday?’”There was much to decode in the reactions of various members of the Trump administration, from “JD Vance’s Dancing with the Stars quickstep exit to Pete Hegseth dropping a smoldering Blue Steel, to RFK Jr being whisked away by a Secret Service hive who apparently couldn’t spare one worker bee for, I don’t know, his wife,” said Stewart before pausing the clip on the health and human services secretary fleeing without his wife, Cheryl Hines,“How fucked up is that scene?” Stewart wondered, even comparing it to footage of the hardline anti-immigrant Trump adviser, Stephen Miller, escorting his pregnant wife out of the room,“The guy who outshined you is Stephen fucking Miller,” Stewart marveled,“That’s who was more chivalrous,Stephen Miller, a guy who probably jerks off to the new Faces of Death movie.

And now for the rest of your life, for the rest of your life, your wife is gonna ask you a question no one’s ever asked before, ever: ‘Why can’t you be more like Stephen Miller?’”On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the host began his monologue by addressing Melania Trump’s unusually public call for him to be fired for a joke he made days ahead of the White House correspondents’ dinner shooting,In his show last Thursday, Kimmel described the first lady as glowing “like an expectant widow”,Melania Trump accused him of “hateful and violent rhetoric” and “atrocious behavior”,Kimmel did not apologize on Monday night, defending both his joke and the freedom of speech at large,“Obviously, it was a joke about their age difference and the look of joy we see on her face every time they’re together,” he said.

“It was a very light roast joke about the fact that he’s almost 80 and she’s younger than I am,It was not – by any stretch of the definition – a call to assassination,And they know that,“I agree that hateful and violent rhetoric is something we should reject,” he added,“I do, and I think a great place to start to dial that back would be to have a conversation with your husband about it.

Donald Trump is allowed to say whatever he wants to say, as are you and as am I.Because under the first amendment, we have, as Americans, a right to free speech.”Later in his monologue, Kimmel touched on Trump’s kneejerk response to the attack on Truth Social, where he wrote: “This event would never have happened with the Militarily Top Secret Ballroom currently under construction at the White House.”“The thing about Donald Trump – there’s nothing he couldn’t turn into a real estate opportunity,” Kimmel laughed.“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, I’m afraid that top secret ballroom is no longer top secret.

”And on Late Night, Seth Meyers also reacted to the shooting at the White House correspondents’ dinner with some relief, as no one was injured, though many were shaken up; Meyers played a clip of Wolf Blitzer, a CNN host, recounting the moments after the shooting, when he was pushed into a bathroom with 15 other guys by Secret Service agents.“Three things: first, bravo to this officer for their quick reaction to make sure everyone is safe,” said Meyers.“Two, bravo to Wolf Blitzer for his invaluable reporting.And three, can you imagine being trapped in a men’s room with 15 other dudes? That is my actual nightmare.Because you know that somebody said, ‘well, if Wolf is in the room, there must be a situation!’ and then everybody had to fake laugh.

“Thankfully, everyone was safe, and some even enjoyed their salad,” he continued, referring to now-viral image of one man continuing to eat his burrata salad as chaos ensued around him.“Now the question is: what do we do about the rising tide of political violence in America? It’s unacceptable and has no place in a functioning democracy.Mr President, can you give us any guidance, any leadership? What’s one thing we can do?”According to Trump, it’s build his massive gilded ballroom despite court orders to halt construction until the proper permits are obtained for his “Militarily Top Secret Ballroom”.“This is the first I’m hearing that it’s a safe ballroom,” Meyers joked.“All I’ve ever heard is how it’s going to be big and beautiful, but now we’re shifting to safe? Man, I get it – when you want something as badly as you want your ballroom, you do what you can.

”Meyers also had a bone to pick with the term “militarily top secret” – “what do you mean it’s top secret?” he wondered.“You talk about it all the time! That’s the opposite of top secret.You literally held a poster board with designs for the ballroom you claimed is top secret.“This is ‘militarily top secret’ in the same way a stealth bomber it would be if it was pulling a banner that read ‘invisible plane,’” he quipped.“Political violence is unacceptable,” he later concluded.

“It has no place in a functioning democracy.It would be nice if our politicians could lead by example and provide solutions for keeping all Americans safe.Instead, the president and his party seem focused on telling the world about his ‘militarily top secret ballroom’.”
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A pasta bake and a sumac salad: Sami Tamimi’s prep-ahead sharing recipes

My ideal way of entertaining is completely fuss-free, with everything prepared ahead of time so I can enjoy being with my guests rather than worrying about cooking. I like to put big, generous dishes in the middle of the table, such as this one-tray chicken, pasta and chickpea bake, alongside a fresh salad, so everyone can serve themselves and share a simple, delicious meal.This is a comforting and flavourful dish that brings together tender chicken, hearty chickpeas and perfectly cooked pasta in a rich, pungent sauce. It’s a simple yet satisfying meal that’s ideal for busy weeknights or casual family meals. Everything cooks together in the oven, and the flavours blend beautifully while keeping prep and washing-up to a minimum

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From avocado to hemp, extra virgin olive and rapeseed, the shops are packed with various oils. But what is worth spending money on? And are any of them actually better for you? The world of cooking oils is confusing. I keep spotting new ones on supermarket shelves, trumpeting their health claims. Cold-pressed avocado oil, extra virgin macadamia oil, organic coconut oil, premium hemp seed oil … Even familiar oils are mired in controversy. Is it OK to cook with olive oil? Should you avoid seed oils? Meanwhile, prices keep rising – earlier this month, Walter Zanre, the CEO of Filippo Berio UK, said supermarkets were “taking the mickey” out of customers over olive oil pricing

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The surprising boom in blouge wine: ‘It’s for 5pm, in the sun’

Twenty years ago, a winery could do well selling one white and two reds, says Konrad Pixner, a northern Italian winemaker who set up his vineyard, Domaine de L’Accent, in Languedoc, France, in 2019. But today, importers and bars always ask: “Do you have something new?” So up in the hills, surrounded by deep gorges and limestone plateaus, Pixner is constantly experimenting.After a good harvest in 2023, Pixner walked into the shed he shares with other winemakers at 4am to find that his biggest vat of white wine, pressed from carignan blanc grapes, had overflowed during fermentation. He had run out of space, so he quickly “pumped the white juice into the tank where whole bunches of carignan noir were,” he says, and left them to ferment for 10 days together. In contrast to rosé, made from red grapes left for a short time with their skins on before being pressed, he created “blouge” – a light, fresh wine blended from white and red grapes that’s best served chilled

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How to make the perfect custard creams – recipe | Felicity Cloake's How to make the perfect …

Prue Leith reckons the custard cream is “arguably Britain’s most iconic biscuit” – and, certainly, we’ve been dunking this fern-patterned treat in our tea for well over a century, with early advertisements for this “delicious biscuit” placing it, perhaps aspirationally, in the “fancy” category. By 1920, Bermondsey baking behemoth Peek Frean could confidently declare the custard cream “far and away the most popular of all the cream sandwich biscuits”, a status only slightly dented by the time I was at school about seven decades later, when it sat just below its contemporary, the chocolate bourbon, in the playtime snack ratings.Despite my love of both custard and cookies, however, I’ve always found this particular custard-flavoured product a bit sugary and dull. As historian Lizzie Collingham explains in her magisterial book, The Biscuit: The History of a Very British Indulgence, it combines two early industrial foodstuffs, namely custard powder and machine-made biscuits, and though they may have been created in a factory, I think they’re much better made at home.Let’s be honest, the biscuit isn’t really the point of the packet variety – as children, we’d prise them open to scrape out the sugary filling, like bears sucking honey from a split log – but when you bake them yourself, it can be

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Impala, London W1: ‘Shamelessly, brilliantly too much’ – restaurant review | Grace Dent on restaurants

Impala is like no restaurant I’ve ever been to, yet it somehow has echoes of almost all of themLate last month, Impala drove into Soho already flaming hot in the hype stakes: this was a sizzling booking to brag about even before executive chef and co-founder Meedu Saad had turned on the stoves. Impala, after all, is a Super 8 restaurant, the group that has, among others, Tomos Parry’s Brat in Shoreditch, which has been constantly, unfalteringly brilliant since 2018. It also runs Parry’s second baby, Mountain, which is likewise wonderful; sometimes weird, yes, but always wonderful. Long before that, back in 2016, they opened Kiln, the famed live-fire Thai counter hangout that cheffy boys in beanies have tried and failed to emulate all over Britain, while Super 8’s beginnings were with the boundary-pushing and much-loved Smoking Goat. That is nothing less than a litany of solid-gold bangers, and now they’ve unleashed Impala by Saad, the former head chef at Kiln

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Ifrah F Ahmed’s debut cookbook is a love letter to Somali cuisine, history and people

On a video call from Brooklyn, between stops on her book tour, Ifrah F Ahmed is drinking ginger-root tea. The smell transports her to her childhood kitchen, where her mother often baked aromatic cardamom cake.“That’s a core childhood memory for me,” she said.For Ahmed, food isn’t just about sustenance. It is memory, inheritance and, perhaps most importantly, a record: “Somali history on a plate,” as she puts it

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