Over the next two decades, economists predict that $5,4tn will be passed down from ageing baby boomers to their beneficiaries,We asked Guardian Australia readers to share their experience of giving, getting or living without an inheritance,Here is what some told us,Ash, Western Australia I don’t think inheritance should be assumed.

It is not my money.If parents want to spend it or leave it to a charity that is their right.It can create so much conflict and destruction in families.I think that being transparent about future plans would allow for so many issues to be resolved before someone’s death.Having worked in aged care I have seen some appalling behaviour and a lot of bordering on, if not blatant, financial abuse and bullying of older people over assumed inheritance.

Anonymous, Australian Capital TerritoryWhen I turned 18, a trust was opened consisting of $25,000 from my great-aunt and great-grandma who had passed during my HSC,My grandparents have also expressed that their wealth will be distributed not just to my dad and his siblings but the eight grandkids as well,Up until I learned this, I simply assumed I would never have the opportunity to own a home, despite coming from a upper-middle class family and studying to work in a high-income industry, so learning of both of these gave me actual hope of a future where I don’t have to rely on landlords and their wishes,Roger, Queensland My mother will leave an inheritance of about $250,000 for both my sister and I,I am mid-60s and have already given money to our sons to help them into housing.

Comforting to know money is there.Will go into super.It’s not an essential amount to our planning.We have $2m in super and a home worth $1.5m.

We will travel/enjoy life for next 10 to 15 years subject to other factors, eg health, family circumstances.We expect to leave an estate of $2m to $3m.Our will provides a sum for both sons and six grandchildren.Anonymous, New South Wales My parents (mother and stepfather) own shares and their super, the house I grew up in, the apartment that they live in and I think another house in the town we grew up in.I expect that the apartment will pay for our parent’s aged care.

I really suspect the “great wealth transfer” that is purported to happen over the next 20 years will really just be a property transfer to aged care providers.Senior living developments are booming and they are mostly priced towards the end of the market where a couple will have to trade most of their house to get in, and then the exit fees are appalling.It’s an industry that requires strict financial regulation.At best, I expect I will receive a quarter of a house (current value $1.5m maybe?), and whatever super and shares are left.

It has probably made me a little more lax in my own financial planning than I otherwise would have been, and, while I have paid off 50% of a one-bedroom apartment, I won’t be able to pay off a house by the time I retire without the inheritance.Zoe, NSW There is no “intergenerational wealth” coming my way.My mum was a single parent for most of my life and worked multiple jobs to get by.She bought her first house when she was in her 40s, which for her generation was very late.My mum is not even her mid-60s so will use most of her own money to get her through the next 20 to 30 years.

I get angry but not at the lack of wealth transfer because, goodness knows, my mum deserves to enjoy what money she’s earned,I’m angry at the media and politicians and at the portrayal that millennials all have this wealth coming their way,But it’s not true,The unequal generation of intergenerational wealth is also unequal in how it will be distributed,My friends are mostly in the same boat.

We’ll be in our 60s by the time any wealth flows down or will have not much coming down the chain at all,We’re successful women in our own right but still feel the same frustration with all being tarred with the same brush as having this inheritance coming when we don’t,Anonymous, NSW My whole estate will go into the best financial vehicle, eg a family trust,My only child will be the trustee and his two children the sole beneficiaries,The way the world is heading off a cliff, I think my grandchildren will need all the help I can give them.

Tim, QueenslandAs a financial adviser, I see a range of reactions from people who have received or are about to receive an inheritance,Often it’s a case of them feeling overwhelmed and feeling that they need to do something with the funds urgently, given that for a lot of people it can be a significant change in their financial position,Generally, the best thing for them to do is to catch their breath and take their time in getting to understand what their options are and what works best for them,Alongside the financial, there might also be the ethical considerations, where an inherited portfolio from a friend or relative may not necessarily align with an individual’s values, and so in that case you’re also looking at how best to recalibrate while taking into account any capital gains,Anonymous, TasmaniaIt is very frustrating seeing people I know receiving tens of thousands of dollars and doing cool things with it while myself and others will likely never see that kind of money from anyone.

It feels like a worse version of Lotto.At least everyone with a Lotto ticket is on equal footing.Anonymous, WAWe have donated substantial amounts to our three sons (>$100,000) to assist in the purchase of their first homes.This was a gift, not a loan.We freed up considerable capital downsizing from our large family home to an apartment.

Daniel, VictoriaMy parents will eventually pass, as well as another relative,While not wealthy, luck was on their side with housing price growth, and my share of the inheritance will be more than a million dollars,I don’t really give any thought to it because it will only come about by their passing which I don’t want,The inheritance could mean buying a house,Anonymous, Queensland My husband and I are trying to work out how to pass on wealth to our two adult children without going broke ourselves.

We will have to get financial advice to work this out.We have been lucky in life and had opportunities the younger generation have not, eg free education and being able to buy a home, although we still have a small mortgage.The generational wealth divide is something us and our adult children are well aware of.BenI am an only child and will receive significant inheritance.My wife and I have a portfolio of investments that we are using to build capital – the plan being that it will help our kids buy houses.

I am very close to my dad and feel sad thinking about the money,I don’t want money to interfere in our relationship,We have chosen to be financially independent and would pass any inheritance to our kids,Anonymous, WAMy wife and I are working off the assumption that we won’t inherit anything,My father-in-law passed away when my wife was a teenager and, when my beautiful mother-in-law passed a couple of years ago, she was only able to leave behind enough to cover her funeral, bless her.

I am not aware of my own parents’ situation but I understand that downsizing the family home was crucial to make retirement possible for them, and that they have already lived longer than they expected to.I imagine (and hope) that what remaining super they have will be sufficient to support them in the event they need specialised care towards the end of their lives – although I haven’t given up hope of caring for them myself, if possible.I also have two siblings, so any inheritance would be split three ways.However, just talking about this feels … problematic.Our home ownership aspirations took a backseat a couple of years ago when our daughter was born.

Rising house prices and living costs mean we are at least two years away from scraping together the 5% deposit necessary to buy a two-bedroom villa like the one we rent in suburban Perth.With all of the above making it extremely difficult for us as two university-educated, working professionals to overcome the inequality gap, we have made the difficult decision not to have another child, as we can’t be sure we will be able to pass on enough wealth for one child to overcome that ever-widening gap, let alone two.Sue, Queensland I come from a working poor family background – any money my parents had is being eaten up by aged care fees.My parents did manage to buy a home in Inala and my father received a payout for mesothelioma just before he died.The sale of the house and the payout helped secure (but not fully fund) a place in aged care for my mother.

I expect to have to sell our house to pay for my own and my partner’s aged care, while my super will have to pay for daily fees.If I die earlier, I can pass along my super to my daughter.The housing crisis is much larger than anyone thinks, as only those who can afford aged care easily will be able to pass wealth along.Anyone who expects boomers to pass massive wealth on doesn’t understand the disaster that is privatised aged care.