Ready to order? 10 rules for UK’s restaurant diners
Hospitality is in a right state at the moment, what with the seemingly never-ending shitshow of rising rents and rates, extortionate VAT, higher staffing, produce and utility costs, and all those other well-documented socioeconomic pressures (don’t mention the Bre*it word, please).So the last thing those of us who work in this beleaguered industry need right now is to be kicked in the proverbials by the very people we rely on perhaps more than anyone.And, yes, by that I mean you, our lovely customers.So here is some advice on how to avoid infuriating your serving staff.Turn up … Pre-Covid, most restaurants didn’t have the balls to take card details or charge for late cancellations and no-shows, but that’s all changed now (thank God).
If you buy a ticket to the football or a gig, say, you’ll be out of pocket if you can’t be arsed to turn up.Why should restaurants be any different? What’s more, even if we have charged you a cancellation fee, remember that we’ve still lost out on drink sales and service charge.… and turn up on time You’d be surprised how many people seem oblivious to the fact that a restaurant is a business, just like any other.If you’ve booked dinner for 7pm and show up half an hour late, don’t be surprised or, worse, turn all bolshie on us when we try to bum-rush you out of the door at 9pm.We’ve got another booking for that table, and sod’s law dictates that they will show up on time.
Don’t stick your chewing gum under the table Yes, really.You’d hope that people would have grown out of this by the time they leave secondary school, but I’ve never, ever worked a floor – even Michelin-starred ones – where I haven’t had to scrape used gum off the underside of tables on an almost daily basis.Why can’t you just ask me for a tissue or, better still, put the offending object in the bin yourself? You wouldn’t do it at home (hopefully), so don’t do it at my place of work, either.Speak up if something’s wrong … As in all walks of life, stuff sometimes just goes wrong (though whether that’s our fault or yours is often up for debate), so don’t smile meekly and mumble “fine” when we ask if everything’s OK.Hospitality folk are people-pleasers, otherwise there’s no way we’d be in this godforsaken game, and we’re more than happy to do our best to put things right.
Plus, you never know: you may even get a free dish or glass of wine on us (or on our boss, but don’t tell).… and don’t go online to complainDon’t keep stumm on the night only to log on to TripAdvisor three months down the line, usually after you’ve had one too many, to give us a one-star review and whinge about a dish that’s not even on the sodding menu any more.Be clear about dietary needsAKA work on your communication skills.There’s a reason we ask “Any dietaries?” when people book (we don’t want you to die on us, because that’s not the best look for either of us), not least because we don’t have a magical endless larder that can miraculously cater to every need.Much as you’d never dream of going to a vegetarian restaurant and asking them to cook you a steak, don’t expect us to be able to come up with a bespoke vegan, gluten-free, pulse-intolerant, mushroom-averse meal at the drop of a hat.
Stand by your request If, say, you’ve asked for your steak well done, don’t blame the chef when it turns out to be a bit, well, tough,That’s 100% on you,Leave the clearing-up to me Believe it or not, there’s an art to clearing a table that can get thrown out of whack if, for example, you hand me your empty plates or pile everyone’s dirty cutlery on the same platter,Yes, I know you’re trying to help, bless, but you’re actually doing the opposite,Don’t dissect the bill at the tableFew things are more excruciating than listening to grown adults quibble over how many olives, slices of bread or whatever each of them ate, then argue the toss about their fair share of the bill.
Stop it already.You’re embarrassing yourself.And me.(See also larger groups who can’t just split it and sort things out between themselves later, instead of wasting their time and mine doing complex mathematical calculations on the spot, often while tipsy.)Above all, don’t be rudeI will never understand why some people apparently think the best way of getting what they want is to be downright obnoxious.
If you’re disrespectful, raise your voice or treat me like your servant, do you honestly expect me to go out of my way to make sure you have a good time?As told to Bob Granleese
Chess: iconic Reykjavik Open sparks memory of Bobby Fischer from 1973
The nine-round Reykjavik Open, which began on Wednesday afternoon at the Harpa Conference Centre and which continued with two rounds on Thursday, is an iconic event. It was first played as an all-play-all in 1964, when Mikhail Tal won, and is close to the Hotel Reykjavik Natura, formerly the Hotel Loftleidir, which featured prominently in the epic Bobby Fischer v Boris Spassky match of 1972.The top seed in the capacity entry of 422 players is Iran’s Amin Tabatabaei, the only 2700-rated player in the field, with Romania’s Bogdan-Daniel Deac (2655) next, and the veteran Ukrainian Vasyl Ivanchuk (2624) the fourth seed.England has a large contingent of more than 20, although most of them are low-rated amateurs. GM Matthew Wadsworth (2522) is the 21st seed, and GM Simon Williams (2443) the 39th, while WIM Bodhana Sivanandan, 11, is targeting her second WGM norm
Buttler looks for form as IPL returns with riches, political rancour and aftermath of tragedy
Former England captain seeks inspiration from the pioneering Kevin Pietersen as he heads a 12-strong contingent of compatriots in 2026’s tournament“I will always be grateful for what the IPL gave me,” Kevin Pietersen tells Jos Buttler. “It gave me a lot of controversy, I earned a lot of money, but it also saved my career because I made trusting relationships that I was able to call upon to give longevity to my career.”The conversation is on Buttler’s podcast, For The Love Of Cricket, released on Tuesday, with the pair hailing their experiences of playing in the Indian Premier League. (For the love of content, they also discuss Pietersen’s new career as a YouTuber.) The 45-year-old was there in the early years, rebelling against English cricket’s uneasy relationship with a revolutionary startup, exhilarated to call Rahul Dravid and Jacques Kallis his teammates
Aryna Sabalenka sinks Rybakina to set up Miami Open final showdown with Gauff
Aryna Sabalenka believes she is ready for the challenge of her rival Coco Gauff in the Miami Open final as she stands one win away from winning Indian Wells and Miami in the same year for the first time.“She’s a fighter,” Sabalenka said of Gauff. “She’s a great player, of course. We played a lot of matches, a lot of tight matches, a lot of big finals. And, yeah, she’s a great player and I’m really excited to face her in the final
Human rights experts raise concerns over Olympics transgender women athlete ban
Over 100 human rights, sports and scientific groups have criticised the International Olympic Committee’s new gender eligibility guidelines as “a blunt and discriminatory response that is not supported by science and violates international human rights law”.The IOC’s new guidelines, announced on Friday, mandate genetic sex tests for all athletes competing in its women’s categories, as well as blanket bans of people who identify as transgender, intersex or with sex differences.Athletes in these categories have been allowed to compete in Olympic events since the IOC scrapped mandatory sex testing in 1999, which was deemed arbitrary, inaccurate, expensive and discriminatory.New IOC president Kirsty Coventry reversed the organisation’s position and backflipped on its own 2021 Framework on Fairness, Inclusion, and Non-Discrimination, a policy informed by extensive consultation and research which recognised the need for evidence-based, sport-specific and rights-respecting rules.“Mandatory genetic sex testing and rigid biological criteria as a condition for participation in the women’s category violates fundamental and universal human rights … including the right to equality, non-discrimination, dignity, privacy, and bodily autonomy,” said Professor Paula Gerber, an international human rights lawyer at Monash University
AFL scratching its head on decline in Indigenous participation as weight of history takes toll | Sean Gorman
I write this having come from the funeral of the West Perth and Buffaloes great Bill Dempsey. I mention this because Dempsey is the first Northern Territory player to play on the MCG. He was a trailblazer that set the scene so many other Territorians like Long, Rioli, Burgoyne, White and McLeod could follow. Demspey’s legacy came about by chance, as he was the support act for the talented Darwin recruit Jimmy Anderson when they both came down to Melbourne in the late 1950s. Anderson lasted a few weeks
Castleford’s sensational spell blows Bradford away to kick off birthday celebrations
It is fair to assume neither Castleford Tigers nor Bradford Bulls will be in title contention later this year, not least based on what we saw here from both teams. However, in terms of an appetiser to set the scene for Super League’s 30th anniversary weekend, this West Yorkshire derby was about as entertaining as you could have hoped for if you were a neutral.The beauty of early-season games like these is that narratives that have been formed can be quickly dismantled in the blink of an eye and, given defensive displays they have put in so far, it was hard not to feel that was perhaps the case on this occasion.With three wins from their opening five since promotion, Bradford have rightly been heralded as a major positive of 2026. In contrast, Castleford have won only once and arrived at this game off the back of a 72-6 defeat at Warrington, one of their heaviest in the Super League era
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