In a blind taste test, Nicholas Jordan tastes 14 peaches in cans and plastic jars, in juice and syrup – but only one brand is worthy of decorating a pavlovaIf you value our independent journalism, we hope you’ll consider supporting us todayGet our weekend culture and lifestyle emailBefore this taste test, it had probably been 20 years since I last ate a canned peach.But unlike most things that happened 20 years ago, I have a strong memory of the experience.Canned, tinned or any packaged peaches weren’t a staple of my childhood (neither were fresh peaches – I was too fussy to like much except plain carbs, sausages, apples and ice-cream).But somehow I remember not only eating tinned peaches but loving them, soft like panna cotta and as syrupy as a gulab jamun.Not quite the same as a fresh peach but delicious in a different way.

Five friends and I blind tasted 14 supermarket products: canned, in plastic jars, in syrup and fruit juice,We scored them based on aroma, texture and taste,As some brands sell the same products in plastic containers and tins, I also did a test to see if the reviewers could tell the difference,Plastic jarred peaches marginally but consistently scored better in all categories, and had brighter, orange colours,Any positive memories I had about canned peaches were decimated.

It was no surprise to me, and probably to any regular tinned peach eater, that tinned peaches don’t taste particularly like peaches.But it was a surprise to me that many don’t taste like much at all.There are a few enjoyable exceptions but they’re not enjoyable because they’re peachy.Like banana lollies or all the lemon sorbets I ate last month, if you’re judging them based on the accuracy or density of banana or lemon flavour, you’ll feel betrayed.But someone who’s never eaten a banana or lemon will love them without judgment.

Black & Gold Peach Slices in Light Syrup, 825g, $2,60 (32c per 100g), available at IGAScore: 7,5/10Imagine a scenario where I’m doing a taste test for all kinds of tinned fruit,I’m blindfolded and no one has told me what the fruit are,Would I be able to guess which ones were peaches? This is probably the only product I’m 100% confident I’d get right.

It is unmistakably peachy in look, smell and taste.Considering the other peaches are more reminiscent of juices served on aeroplanes and hose water, that is a huge compliment.I would not only happily top a Christmas pavlova with these, I’d have a few straight out of the tin while I was doing it.The absurdly low price should be an indictment of all of the other products we tasted.Gold Reef Peach Halves in Syrup, 825g, $4.

50 (55c per 100g), available at ColesScore: 7.5/10When these peach halves landed on the table there was a flash of excitement, as if I’d presented a box of kittens to a panel of overworked drywall inspectors.One reviewer said the peaches looked like the contents of a treasure chest, others said they looked like polished bald heads and apricots sitting in varnish.These look like Monets but they taste like the culinary equivalent of Rebecca Black’s Friday – so basic it’s hard to hate or love them.They have the bite and fibre of a peach but they taste more like all the fruits mentioned in a kids’ alphabet game, blended together.

“Pretty tasty but actually nothing like a peach,” one reviewer summarised.Tasty is good enough for me but you have to decide for yourself whether you care if a peach needs to taste like a peach.Woolworths Peach Slices in Syrup, 825g, $2.60 (32c per 100g), available at WoolworthsScore: 7/10One of the surprises of the taste test was not being able to guess which sample was in syrup and which was in fruit juice.The comments for this product were: “Lots of misc fruit juice flavour”, “fruit cup generic”, “tastes like pineapple and mixed fruit juice”.

Other syrupy brands had similar comments; the fruit juice products were just criticised for being bland.Woolworths’ three products (a tin in syrup, a tin in juice and a plastic jar in juice) are a perfect illustration.For exactly the reasons above, I’d never recommend anyone purchase either of the peaches in fruit juice, especially the tin.But if you don’t have access to either Gold Reef or Black & Gold, Woolworths’ peaches in syrup can adorn a bowl of ice-cream without complaint.Royal Kerry Peach Slices in Syrup, 1kg, $9.

99, $1 per 100g, available at select grocersScore: 6.5/10If many of the tinned peaches didn’t taste like peaches, what were they like? The reviewers say this “smells toasty, like it’s been cooked” and has “earthy notes”.One asked “is this an apricot?”; another reviewer insisted this, and a few other brands, taste like cereal.Bizarre, I know, but they could be explained by various processes, some involving high heat, that cause oxidation or Maillard reactions.The experience is likely to be divisive.

“Roasty and round in flavour.Lots of depth.It’s different but I like it,” wrote one reviewer.“Generally more flavour than others but not for the best,” wrote another.At least these have a bit of chew and fibre like a fresh peach.

SPC Peaches Sliced in Tasty Juice, 825g, $5.30 (64c per 100g), available at major supermarketsScore: 6/10A six looks like a commendable score – that’s about what I rate my wardrobe and that’s getting me through life.But like my wardrobe, not every feature of these peaches is a six.Texturally, this is more than commendable – it has bite, a hint of QQ texture and the fibres present in a fresh peach.A suitable specimen for any cake layering or dessert-making that needs some structural integrity.

But texture can only get you so far: no one remembers the soft skin of a hand that’s slapped them in the face.I thought it tasted like raw root vegetables, as if a particularly zestless radish had been left in syrup.Another reviewer said it had parsnip notes.One simply wrote: “Zero taste.”Coles Sweet and Juicy Australian Peach Slices in Juice, 695g, $3.

70 (53c per 100g), available at ColesScore: 5,5/10Another example where the tin and plastic jar versions of the same brand are markedly different,The canned version suffered from the same odd vegetal flavour we found in SPC, only more pronounced and followed by a faintly bitter aftertaste,The plastic jar peaches were unremarkably sweet,And the texture reminds me of the Lion King scene where Timon and Pumbaa are sucking down grubs – the peaches are so soft and slippery, you couldn’t throw one, let alone use them in a cobbler.

Sweet Valley Peach Slices in Syrup, 825g, $2.39 (29c per 100g), available at AldiScore: 4.5/10One of the few products to taste distinctly like peaches, but peaches that have soaked for days in the lukewarm glass of water languishing on my bedside table.Sweet Valley’s peaches in juice are somehow more unpleasant and too soft to be useful.“If you push them into the roof of your mouth, you can make a puree,” one reviewer said.

Goulburn Valley Luscious Peaches in Juice, 700g, $5 (71c per 100g), available at major supermarketsScore: 3,5/10I remember being at parties as a young teenager and talking about kissing, despite the fact I’d never kissed anyone,My aim was to tell everyone I was a legendary kisser but all I succeeded in doing was convincing everyone else not to kiss me,This is how I feel about the claims on the Goulburn Valley jar: “We select only the finest fruit to produce delightfully juicy flavours,Combining craft and cultivation, we create fruit experiences that are as inspiring as they are delicious.

” This is what the reviewers said: “Very flat cardboard flavour”, “tasteless then weird”, “ugly” and “texture for wisdom teeth removal”.If Goulburn Valley considers these to be the finest peaches they could get, imagine the peaches they said no to.