Jimmy Kimmel on Trump being gifted an Olympic medal: ‘Yet another award he didn’t win’
On Thursday night, late-night hosts discussed an odd White House women’s history month event, the fallout of the war on Iran and why Melania Trump is starting to sound an awful lot like her husband,Jimmy Kimmel spent a chunk of his Thursday night monologue on a White House women’s history month fundraiser hosted by Donald Trump,As part of the event, Melania Trump gave an extended introduction to the president,“You know how some couples as they get older start to sound alike?” asked Kimmel,“Well, while introducing her husband, Melania had an awful lot of nice things to say about herself.
”The first lady said: “As a visionary, I know that success is not born overnight but rather takes shape after a long and sometimes challenging process.Often alone at the top, I follow my passion, listen to my instinct, listen to my husband and always maintain a laser focus.In solitude, my creative mind dances.”Kimmel laughed.“In solitude my creative mind dances? They could probably put any words in front of them and she’d just keep reading them.
”Melania added that her creative instincts were on full display in her new film, where she “shaped its creative direction”.“What creative direction?” asked the host.“I watched that documentary.Nothing happens!” Later, Kaillie Humphries, an Olympic bobsled medallist, arrived onstage to tearfully present Trump with her Order of Ikkos medal.“Yet another award he didn’t win,” noted Kimmel.
“There’s no shame to this administration,There’s plenty of vanity but there’s no shame,”The host then turned to Pete Hegseth’s battle against the free press in the wake of reports that the Pentagon has banned photographers from press briefings after they took unflattering images of the defense secretary,“Who would have ever guessed that the guy who spent thousands of taxpayer dollars on a makeup studio would be a little bit self absorbed?”“The truth is, Pete Hegseth is actually a pretty handsome guy on the outside,” concluded Kimmel,“On the inside, he looks like the old lady from Weapons.
”On Late Night, Seth Meyers focused on Maga’s continued confusing messaging over the scale of the Iran attacks, with Republicans calling the conflict both a “short excursion” and “a longer war”,“It’s pretty much complete and it’s also just beginning,” the host said,“High oil prices are a sacrifice we have to make, but also oil prices are coming down,”He continued: “And also high oil prices are actually a good thing, and we already won but we might have to stay for four days or five weeks, or six months, jump in the strait of Hormuz for oil tankers because if it stays closed, oil prices that are coming down will go up and we’ll lose the war we’ve already won,Sure makes sense to me.
”With different Maga spokespeople giving conflicting messages, the war could either be over in a month or last well into September,After playing one CNN report, Meyers reacted: “You sound like my doctor after I ate a bottle of knockoff Viagra,‘Could be a couple of hours, could be a year,But on the bright side, you won’t have to put down your groceries to open the door,’”Meyers then turned his attention to Hegseth’s comments that “this is only just the beginning”.
“I will admit, it’s not great that the guy who runs the Pentagon sounds like the Joker after he gets arrested,” Meyers laughed, before adopting a gravelly voice: “This is only just the beginning, Batman.”In an interview, Trump declined to give a definitive answer on the conflict’s length.When asked whether we were nearing the start or end of the war, the president replied: “I guess you could say both.”“Both?” Meyers asked incredulously.“So suddenly you’re into Eastern philosophy?”He then imitated the president: “‘You know, the end is also the beginning.
We exist in the space between nothing and everything.We are with and without.Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Walton Goggins.”Over on the Late Show, Stephen Colbert reacted to a Trump rally in Kentucky where he mispronounced the state’s name.“How can you not know how to pronounce that name?” the host asked.
“It’s on every one of your chicken buckets.”Colbert also furrowed his brow at the administration’s incoherent messaging over the length of the Iran war.He played footage of Trump’s speech: “We’re not going to assume we have competent presidents, we’re gonna assume we have incompetent ones,” the president said.The host responded: “Ooh, he’s so close to getting it.Just for the sake of argument, we have to consider that some day we might have the dumbest man alive as president.
”He went on to discuss Iran’s new supreme leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, who took power after US and Israeli strikes killed his father Ayatollah Ali Khamenei,The new leader’s rule comes despite reports that he may have been in a coma,Colbert deadpanned: “Incidentally, ‘Ayatollah in a Coma’: one of the very worst Dr Seuss books,”The conflict in the Middle East has had severe knock-on effects on the supply chain, with reports that we are amid the largest ever oil disruption,“Tankers in the Persian Gluf and strait of Hormuz have burst into flames after coming under attack.
Turns out you can’t just stir up historic levels of trouble and just be done with it.”The host then impersonated Trump’s grandstanding: “Look, we opened a cursed mummy’s tomb, we took what we wanted and now we’re going to live happily ever after.They tell me there’s a sign up on the wall that says: ‘Eternal suffering to all who defile my resting place.’ I’m sorry, I only read English, not wingdings.“People love font jokes,” the host quipped as the audience applauded.
Foreign secretary Yvette Cooper: ‘Making decisions based on what the US do or say doesn’t feel like sensible foreign policy’
Firing Peter Mandelson, convening with Marco Rubio – then handling the fallout of conflict in the Middle East… it’s been a busy time for the secretary of state, and our writer has had a ringside seatBefore Yvette Cooper joins me in a plush side room at the Foreign Office, an aide comes in and draws the heavy curtains. Outside is Horse Guards Parade. I can see a strip of Downing Street, a patch of the No 10 garden, daffodils in bloom. I say that it’s a shame to block the light on such a beautiful spring afternoon. The aide coughs, embarrassed, and explains that it’s actually for security
‘Could be the making of him’: Starmer’s allies praise stance on Trump and Iran
It is not often that Keir Starmer’s allies believe he has Nigel Farage and Kemi Badenoch on the run – but on Iran, they think he is on the right side of history and public opinion.“It could be the making of him,” said Emily Thornberry, the Labour chair of the foreign affairs committee, who was first out of the blocks to say she thought Donald Trump’s strikes on Iran were illegal. “You’ve not had a British prime minister say no to an American president since Vietnam. This is a big deal.”Since the drawn-out disasters of Iraq and Afghanistan, the prospect of helping the US attempt to facilitate regime change in another foreign country has been deeply unpopular with the public
Rachel Reeves to set out extra support for UK households facing surge in heating oil costs
Rachel Reeves will set out extra support next week for households across the UK facing a surge in the cost of heating oil due to the conflict in the Middle East.The chancellor is expected to set out plans to assist those on low incomes or with other vulnerabilities, particularly in rural areas. The help will be delivered in England via councils using the new crisis and resilience fund.While the amounts involved have not yet been set out, it is understood that ministers could provide extra support to this fund if needed. In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, devolved governments will receive money to deliver the help
Starmer says government will step in if fuel companies rip off customers as trade body U-turns on decision not to meet Reeves – as it happened
The PA news agency has reported that the Petrol Retailers Association (PRA) will attend the meeting with chancellor Rachel Reeves today, shortly after it said it had withdrawn earlier this afternoon.The PRA has deleted a series of posts on X in which it said it had pulled out over concerns that “inflammatory language” from ministers had led to retail staff being abused by the public.That’s all from us on the UK politics live blog, thanks for following along. Here is a recap of today’s developments:Prime minister Keir Starmer said the government “will step in” if fuel companies “try to rip off customers”. He issued the statement ahead of a Downing Street meeting between chancellor Rachel Reeves and petrol retailers to warn against profiteering amid the Iran war
Starmer may face more resignations after release of Mandelson WhatsApp messages, say sources
Keir Starmer could suffer further resignations when ministerial WhatsApp messages are published in the next tranche of the Peter Mandelson files, senior government sources have told the Guardian.With officials bracing for the subsequent releases – expected to include informal communications alongside formal messages like those in the first batch – Starmer apologised again on Thursday over his handling of Mandelson’s appointment, saying: “It was me that made a mistake, and it’s me that makes the apology to the victims of [Jeffrey] Epstein, and I do that.”The disclosures are not expected to be released for several weeks and are still to be fully collated. They will then be examined by the intelligence and security committee of MPs and peers, which will judge which are safe to release on national security grounds.The releases were forced by a parliamentary motion passed by the Conservatives after Mandelson was sacked just nine months into his job as US ambassador after new details emerged about his ties to Epstein
In linking Iran to Russia, Healey could be laying ground for hard choices ahead
After a week or so of wearing media coverage about the deterioration of the Anglo-American relationship and the belated decision to deploy Royal Navy destroyer HMS Dragon to Cyprus, it was time to move the conversation on.On a visit to the UK’s permanent military headquarters in Northwood, north-west London, the defence secretary, John Healey, asked two senior British military officers if there was “any sign of a link between Russia and Iran” in the sprawling conflict that has suddenly engulfed the Middle East.It was obvious Healey knew what answer he was going to get. The night before, it emerged, an unspecified number of drones had struck a coalition base, used by British and other anti-Islamic State forces, in Erbil, northern Iraq. Though there are no reports of serious casualties, it was a relatively rare hit on a western target
NHS and MoD will be urged to buy British tech to drive growth amid Iran crisis
Judge blocks justice department from subpoenaing Fed chair Jerome Powell
Oil price shock likely to ‘push the UK economy into recession’; US growth revised down – as it happened
Miliband reveals plans that could mean nuclear power plants built near homes
Bailiffs board Ryanair plane after airline refuses to pay delayed flight compensation
Bleak economic data shows UK plc in trouble well before Middle East crisis