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Seth Meyers on Trump’s South Korea visit: ‘Getting the royal treatment he so desperately craves’

2 days ago
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Late-night hosts recapped Donald Trump’s lavish visit to South Korea, where he received a ceremonial golden crown.Trump continued his tour of Asia on Wednesday, where he’s been “getting the royal treatment he so desperately craves”, according to Seth Meyers.“He wishes he could get the same treatment back here at home.He made it clear, for example, that he’s super-jealous of China’s authoritarian government.”Speaking to South Korean leaders, Trump assured them that the country’s partnership with the US guaranteed that “you’ll have everything done very, very quickly … as fast as any other country, other than China”, because China “has a good system” where Xi Jinping can “approve things immediately” whereas he had to “wait two weeks”.

“I’m sorry, you have to wait to two weeks?” the Late Night host mocked.“I thought you were going to say two years.For the rest of us, two weeks is very fast.Have you ever tried to make a dentist appointment? I chipped a tooth once, and they asked me if I was available to come in December 2027, and I just said ‘fuck it’ and let the tooth fall out.”Trump also said that he stuffed the so-called big, beautiful bill to the gills so that he would never have to work with Congress again.

“That’s how democracy works.You’re supposed to get the approval of Congress,” said Meyers.“For example, you can’t just bomb boats wherever the hell you want – that’s illegal and unconstitutional.And that’s not just me saying that.That’s coming from Republicans.

”Speaking on Fox News, Rand Paul, the Republican senator from Kentucky, called Trump’s bombing of alleged drug traffickers off the coast of South America “extrajudicial killings” that were “akin to what China does, what Iran does with drug dealers”.“Of course, when you say this is how China does it, that just makes Trump love it even more,” Meyers said, laughing.“He’s like: ‘I don’t want to blow up a boat in two weeks.I want to do it now!’”On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert also checked in on Trump’s Asia trip.“He’s still flying around the world right now, collecting gifts wherever he goes,” he said.

“He’s like reverse Santa, because you want to stay as far away from his lap as possible,”On Wednesday, Trump’s tour of Asia “took him to his second favorite Korea: south”, where he was greeted by a South Korean military band playing YMCA,“I know that’s kinda his song, at this point, but it really undercuts the gravity of an official presidential occasion,” Colbert remarked,“I’m not going to say the Koreans brown-nosed him, but they got so far up there I’m pretty sure they snorted one of his tonsils,Because they gave Donald Trump the only thing he’s missing at this point: a big golden crown.

” Their official lunch also featured mini beef patties with ketchup.“They’re literally making him the Burger King!” Colbert quipped.Trump’s day ended with a dinner alongside fellow world leaders, including the Canadian prime minister, Mark Carney.Trump then posted on Truth Social: “We didn’t come to Korea to see Canada!”Colbert retorted: “Well, we also didn’t come to South Korea to eat burger patties with ketchup, but that’s just traveling with a toddler for you.”“Just about every day I have a moment where I think, ‘Man, things are terrible,’” said Jimmy Kimmel.

“The government has been shut down for like a month.The Republicans are trying to force Congress to choose between healthcare and food to open it up.We’ve got a bunch of ghouls running the country, prices are high, people are suffering.And just when you start to think, ‘Wow, it couldn’t get any worse than this,’ God throws a curveball like this one.”That would be the frantic search for research monkeys that escaped the wreckage of a truck crash in Mississippi.

Authorities warned that the six escaped monkeys could be aggressive toward humans, and could be potentially infected with hepatitis C, herpes or Covid.“Hepatitis, herpes and Covid?! Who are these monkeys hanging out with, Charlie Sheen?” Kimmel joked.Meanwhile, “there’s an angry orangutan on the loose in South Korea”, said Kimmel, as “President Furious George was in Chungju today as part of his Asia-palooza tour.And they’re keeping him happy by giving him presents everywhere he goes.” Including, of course, the golden crown.

“How nice,” Kimmel deadpanned.“I guess they were watching millions of us marching saying we didn’t want a king and they thought, ‘Hey, I have a great idea for a gift.’“It’s so embarrassing how easy he is to manipulate,” he added.“It’s like when you give kids Pokémon cards to get them to behave.”
foodSee all
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Australian supermarket chocolate ice-cream taste test: ‘My scorecard read simply: “I’m going to buy it”’

Sweet memory lane or boulevard of broken creams? Nicholas Jordan and friends sample 23 tubs in search of nostalgia, glee and chocolate excessIf you value our independent journalism, we hope you’ll consider supporting us todayGet our weekend culture and lifestyle emailI grew up in a house barren of treats – there was no regular supply of chocolate, snakes, sour lollies or caramels. There was one exception: ice-cream, and I was mostly free to eat it whenever I wanted. That constant, childhood joy was the start of a storied love affair. Later, when I had money to buy my lunch in high school, I would get a one-litre tub, a pair of spoons, and my friend and I would eat the entire thing and nothing else. Sometimes, if we were particularly greedy, we’d split a two-litre tub

4 days ago
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Sweet dreams? Healthy ways to put pudding back on the menu | Kitchen aide

I eat healthily, but my meals are never really complete without pudding. Yoghurt and stewed fruit aside, do you have any suggestions for what will hit the spot without verging too far into the unhealthy? Wendy, by emailThe truth is, you can’t often have your cake and eat it – or not a big piece, anyway. “My main piece of advice, which maybe isn’t all that welcome, is to keep to small portions,” says Brian Levy, author of Good & Sweet, in which his recipes contain no added sugar. “My grandma would keep mini chocolate bars and have just one, but that’s never really worked for me.”’Tis the season for stewed fruit, but have you tried Melissa Hemsley’s banana slices sandwiched together with peanut butter, half-dipped in melted chocolate and put in the freezer? (FYI the same tactic also works like a dream with dates

4 days ago
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José Pizarro’s recipe for pumpkin and spinach with pimenton

I grew up with the taste of pimentón de la vera, the smoky, fiery spice Spain embraced from the New World and made its own. Pimentón gives our food its soul. One of the dishes everyone loves back home is espinacas con garbanzos (spinach and chickpeas), which is it’s simple, nourishing and full of comfort. At this time of year, however, when the markets are overflowing with sweet pumpkins, I love adding them to the mix, too. Their gentle, autumnal sweetness lifts the spinach and chickpeas beautifully, and they combine to create a dish that we’ve been serving all month at my restaurant Lolo in south-east London

5 days ago
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The £1 oyster: cut-price shellfish is all the rage – but is eating it advisable?

Name: Oysters.Age: Triassic – so about 250m years old.Appearance: Grey and snotty.Oysters, eh? What pearls of wisdom (see what I did there) do you have for me on the noxious bivalve? You’re not a fan, then?Absolutely not. What desperation drove early humans to think, “Time to smash open this forbidding, rock-like blob and eat whatever godforsaken, gelatinous mess it disgorges”? Well, younger diners don’t agree – they’ve gone mad for oysters

5 days ago
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Double, heavy, pure cream? Helen Goh’s guide to baking across borders – plus a finger bun recipe

When Sweet, the baking book I co-authored with Yotam Ottolenghi, came out in the United States in 2017, my excitement at seeing so many people bake from it was matched only by my horror at what I saw them pulling from their ovens on Instagram: pale cakes with thick, dark exteriors.Posts from Australian and British readers showed no alarming results and I quickly realised something had gone awry in the American translation. As it turned out, the recipes had been converted in-house by the publisher, using a straightforward formula to change celsius to fahrenheit. What no one had noticed was that the conversion also needed to take into account the oven setting: fan-forced versus conventional heat. Many American ovens, it seems, still don’t have a fan function

5 days ago
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Rukmini Iyer’s quick and easy recipe for beetroot, apple and feta fritters | Quick and easy

These are autumn in a fritter. Not only were they an unexpected hit with my 18-month-old, but, after trying one myself, I instantly crossed out the saffron arancini at the top of my list for an upcoming lunch party and replaced it with a delirious, “OMG make these fritters!” Not bad for a five-ingredient dish, and a lot less faff than arancini.Serve with a green salad and the dip alongside for a filling dinner on a cold evening.Prep 15 min Cook 20 min Serves 2-42 apples (I used Discovery) 2 medium beetroot, peeled and grated1 egg 200g feta, crumbled60g self-raising flour (gluten-free if you have it)Olive oil, for fryingFor the dip 3 heaped tbsp Greek yoghurt 3 heaped tbsp mayonnaise ½ lemon, juice and zestA pinch of sea saltGrate the apples skin and all into a clean tea towel, then twist and squeeze the towel over the sink to remove as much moisture as you can. Tip the grated apple into a large bowl, then add the grated beetroot, egg and crumbled feta, and mix well

5 days ago
politicsSee all
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Bridget Phillipson ‘ready to take on unions’ over year 8 reading tests

about 12 hours ago
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UK politics: Worries about immigration are ‘manufactured panic’ says charity as poll shows issue not a local concern – as it happened

1 day ago
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Keir Starmer keeps Trumps’ silver necklace gift – for a price

1 day ago
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‘Young Tories are fed up’: the students switching to Reform in big numbers

1 day ago
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Zarah Sultana sets sights on replacing Labour and gaining power

1 day ago
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UK launches search for ‘town of culture’ among places ‘written out of national story’

1 day ago