Jimmy Kimmel on government shutdown: ‘There is no Republican plan for healthcare’
Late-night hosts recapped Donald Trump’s state visit to Japan as the government shutdown continued into its fourth week,On Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the comedian checked in on Trump’s visit to Japan this week,“You know, when Trump visits, you have to find something to do with him,” he said,“You can’t just take him for a stroll around town,“So instead, you take him for a stroll inside a palace, where he gets uncomfortably close to the band,” he said over footage of Trump wandering aimlessly through a ballroom with the Japan’s prime minister, Sanae Takaichi.
“It’s like he’s lost at the mall,”Takaichi later joined Trump on the USS Washington, where she “got to hear him ramble to our troops about a range of subjects, including magnets”, Kimmel reported,“He hates magnets, windmills and sharks,But he loves steam,” as the president went on and on about the steam-powered aircraft carriers, and said he would revert to steam power via executive order,“While Trump’s slurping noodles in Japan, we’re on day 28 of his big, beautiful government shutdown,” Kimmel added.
In Washington, the speaker of the house, Mike Johnson, maintained that there was nothing Trump could do about the shutdown.“The guy who’s ended eight wars, a man who ended wars that never even started, can’t do anything about this?” Kimmel marveled.Johnson’s apathetic stance has angered even far-right members of his own party, such as Marjorie Taylor Greene, who reportedly lashed out at him on a private phone call and demanded to see the Republican plan for healthcare.Johnson refused, “because there is no Republican plan for healthcare”, said Kimmel.“The reason Mike Johnson won’t share the plan for healthcare is the same reason George Santos won’t show you his volleyball trophies: they do not exist.
”On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert started by thanking “the wonderful people of Japan” for “taking in our president for a few days, so the rest of us can just have a little break”.“Japan is trying to get on Trump’s good side to escape his random tariff spree,” by giving fireworks and 250 cherry trees to the US.“Or, as it will be known in history books: how Eric Trump started the DC wildfires,” Colbert joked.Trump, as commander in chief, also visited with American troops stationed in Japan, and “he announced a new military target: it’s you.”As Trump put it: “We can’t have cities that are troubled, we’re sending in our national guard, and we need more than the national guard … because we’re going to have safe cities.
”“There it is, in plain English, telling the military he’s going to use them to invade America,” Colbert reiterated.“But just a warning to the troops: that country is run by a madman, OK? It will take you years to install a democracy by this point.“And those American cities better watch out,” he added, “because according to Trump, our military is set to go GI Joe.”Trump continued: “Nobody makes equipment like we do, nobody makes the ammunition, the weapons, the missiles, planes, none of it.And if they do, the American sailor stands ready to crush them and sink them and wreck them and blast them into oblivion.
”“Inspiring words,” Colbert deadpanned,And on Late Night, Seth Meyers began with Trump’s claim this week that he was getting “the best polling numbers I’ve ever received”,“I don’t know if the people around you are showing the real numbers,” Meyers responded,“Did the newspaper they showed you also have a picture of Stephen Miller as a sheriff?”Trump and Melania will reportedly host a Halloween celebration at the White House on Thursday, “but it looks like they already left their jack-o’-lantern out too long”, Meyers joked next to a photo of an over tanned Robert F Kennedy, Jr,The White House also posted a timeline in defense of its harshly criticized East Wing demolition that “features so-called major events that took place at the White House”, Meyers said, including the supposed “discovery” of cocaine in the White House during the Biden presidency.
“OK, but it clearly wasn’t his,” said Meyers next to a photo of Biden sleeping at his desk.“Look at him – he’s like the bear they put on tea.”And Tesla issued a recall for more than 63,000 Cybertrucks because the front lights are too bright.“Apparently, you can see people laughing at you from up to 300 yards away,” Meyers quipped.
Ministers’ claims to have helped JLR in doubt as £1.5bn support left untouched
Jaguar Land Rover has not drawn down any of a £1.5bn loan facility guaranteed by the government, with suppliers expressing anger over ministers’ claims to have supported the carmaker’s supply chain after a crippling hack.Britain’s biggest automotive employer was forced to shut down all of its wholly owned factories from 1 September for more than a month, after cyber-attackers compromised key computer systems.Liam Byrne, the Labour MP who heads of parliament’s business select committee, on Friday wrote to the business secretary, Peter Kyle, asking for clarification as to whether any money had reached JLR, and if the aid was requested by the carmaker.Suppliers to JLR have privately expressed anger about the government’s messaging, which appeared to take credit for helping them
Amazon shares surge as AI boom fuels cloud growth; Nvidia boss says selling chips in China is Trump’s call – as it happened
Time to recap.Amazon is leading the charge in the US stock market today, with its shares surging by about 11% after its third quarter earnings beat expectations last night.The tech giant reported a 20% surge in sales at its cloud computing division, Amazon Web Services, to $33bn thanks to demand for computing power for artificial intelligence.In the UK, the tinned tuna maker Princes Group has kicked off a float with a valuation of nearly £1.2bn in a boost for the London stock market
OpenAI thought to be preparing for $1tn stock market float
OpenAI is reportedly gearing up for a stock market listing valuing the company at $1tn (£760bn) as soon as next year, in what would be one of the biggest ever initial public offerings.The developer behind the hit AI chatbot ChatGPT is considering whether to file for an IPO as soon as the second half of 2026, according to Reuters, which cited people familiar with the matter. The company is thought to be looking to raise at least $60bn.A stock market float would give OpenAI another route to raising cash, supporting ambitions by the chief executive, Sam Altman, to splash trillions of dollars on building datacentres and other forms of infrastructure needed for the rapid buildout of its chatbots.During a staff livestream on Tuesday, Altman was reported to have said: “I think it’s fair to say it [an IPO] is the most likely path for us, given the capital needs that we’ll have
Google Pixel 10 Pro Fold review: dust-resistant and more durable foldable phone
Google’s third-generation folding phone promises to be more durable than all others as the first with full water and dust resistance while also packing lots of advanced AI and an adaptable set of cameras.The Guardian’s journalism is independent. We will earn a commission if you buy something through an affiliate link. Learn more.The Pixel 10 Pro Fold builds on last year’s excellent 9 Pro Fold by doing away with gears in the hinge along its spine allowing it to deal with dust, which has been the achilles heel of all foldable phones until now, gumming up the works in a way that just isn’t a problem for regular slab phones
Wallabies firing again in time for England clash after return to free-running DNA
If only Henry Slade had managed to stop Ben Donaldson getting that offload away, if only Ollie Sleightholme had been able to make that wrap-up tackle on Len Ikitau, if only Marcus Smith was able to catch Max Jorgensen. But Slade didn’t, Sleightholme couldn’t, Smith wasn’t, and Jorgensen scored in the corner. This time last year the Wallabies beat England 42-37, their first victory against them at Twickenham in nine years, and it was, the players will tell you themselves, the moment when everything changed. “This game last year was a big turning point for us as a group,” says the Australia captain, Harry Wilson. “It really made us believe that on our day we can beat anybody in the world
Women’s tennis thriving on the court as season wraps but WTA must catch up
The final weeks of the women’s tennis season showcased one last twist in the furious race to determine the qualifiers for the WTA Finals. Elena Rybakina, the 2022 Wimbledon champion, finally caught fire after a year of near misses, bulldozing through her opponents to win a title in Ningbo, China that solidified her spot in Riyadh among the eight best players in the world.Just as significant as Rybakina’s qualification, though, was its consequences for the player she usurped. Mirra Andreeva, the 18-year-old prodigy who won WTA 1000 titles in Dubai and Indian Wells this year, had seemed like a sure bet to qualify in singles for the finals. Her failure to do so underscores the fact that this year has been the toughest and most competitive women’s tennis season in years
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