Stephen Colbert on Trump’s Vatican feud: ‘Damn, the pope just read you for filth’
On Thursday night, late-night hosts weighed in on Donald Trump’s tense back and forth with the pope over the war in Iran, high gas prices and outlandish details from a new biography of Robert F Kennedy Jr.On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert focused on Maga’s escalating feud with the pope.Reacting to comments by the House speaker, Mike Johnson, that Pope Leo XIV misunderstood the concept of the just war doctrine, Colbert said incredulously:“Correcting the pope on Catholic theology is a little like going into the woods and saying: ‘Excuse me Mr Bear, do you really think this is the appropriate place for you to be pooping? Who’s going to clean that up?”Colbert went on to explain that the “just war” is a concept of Catholic doctrine that goes back to the earliest days of the church.“It must be in self-defense once all peace efforts have failed,” said the host.“Only then can the war can be said to have ‘just cause’.
As opposed to Trump, who appears to have taken us to war just ’cause.”On Thursday, Pope Leo seemed to react to Maga on social media with a tweet that read: “Woe to those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic, and political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth.”“Damn, son, the pope just read you for darkness and filth,” Colbert said.The host then moved to discuss Trump’s response to questions about how long Americans would continue to see high gas prices.Reacting to the president’s comments that they are, in fact, “not very high”, Colbert commented: “Are you very high?”Jimmy Kimmel weighed in on Trump’s plans to build a triumphal arch in Washington DC, inspired by Paris’s Arc de Triomphe.
“The Arc de Triomphe has the names of generals who fought and died for France engraved on its face,” said Kimmel.“Ours will have the name of the draft dodger who killed America on it.“It’s going to be beautiful,” joked the host.“It strikes the perfect balance between Scientology and Liberace that we have come to expect from our president.”The host then turned to Trump taking credit for this week’s ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon.
“He said it is now the 10th war he’s ended,” said Kimmel.“I would love to ask him to list those wars that he’s ended.Not a chance he gets past No 4.”This week, author Isabel Vincent released a biography of RFK Jr, which includes eyebrow-raising details about the politician, including a claim that he once pulled his car over to the side of the road to carve out the penis of a dead raccoon.“I grew up in the 80s.
Whose dad didn’t pull over to carve out a raccoon penis and study it later?” Kimmel joked.“That was the original ending to Zootopia, right?“Now we have this guy telling us what to put in our bodies.He can’t drive past a festering animal without beheading its boner and throwing it in the back seat with his kids.”Kimmel also addressed Kennedy’s appearance before the House ways and means committee on Thursday morning, where the health secretary drank from a plastic water bottle despite his regular warnings about the dangers of microplastics.“The ‘H’ in Maha stands for ‘hypocrite,’” the host joked.
RFK Jr was also questioned on his previous claims that “every Black kid” in America is put on Adderall, SSRIs and benzodiazepines, which he believes “induce violence”, and that those kids will have to be “reparented”.RFK Jr claimed to not recall his statement, shaking his head in disbelief in front of the committee.But Kimmel played the original footage, commenting: “Think about how crazy you have to be to say something like that.And then not only you have no recollection of it – you think it sounds nuts and makes no sense.That’s the guy in charge of our children’s medications.
”
Senate Democrats move to stall Trump’s ‘absurd’ bid to install new Fed chair
Democrats have moved to stall Donald Trump’s effort to exert greater control over the US Federal Reserve, condemning the president’s “absurd” bid to install a new leader of the central bank while it is targeted with criminal investigations.Democratic lawmakers on the Senate banking committee urged its Republican leadership on Thursday to postpone the planned confirmation hearing for Kevin Warsh, the financial executive and former Fed governor Trump has nominated to replace Jerome Powell as Fed chair.In a letter to banking committee chair Senator Tim Scott, a Republican from South Carolina, the 11 Democrats called for a hearing currently scheduled for Tuesday to be delayed until investigations into Powell and Lisa Cook, a current Fed governor, are closed.Powell – whom the president has frequently and publicly chastised over his refusal to dramatically lower interest rates – is facing a criminal investigation into the renovations of the central bank’s headquarters, which he dismissed as a “pretext” tied to the Fed’s refusal to bow to Trump’s demands.The Trump administration also tried to fire Cook, an appointee of Joe Biden, for alleged mortgage fraud
Next chief Simon Wolfson paid record £7.4m – and could get far more this year
The Next chief executive, Simon Wolfson, took home more than £7m last year, his highest ever pay package, and could be handed up to £9.27m this year after the retailer announced plans to increase his basic salary and bonuses.The listed company said it was increasing its pay deal for the long-term leader of the fashion and homewares retailer, which now controls a string of brands in the UK including Gap, Victoria’s Secret, Cath Kidston, Reiss and FatFace, as his remuneration was 30% below the average for FTSE 100 bosses.The directors on its remuneration committee said in the annual report published on Thursday that the changes were also being made as Next’s returns to shareholders had been higher than other leading listed companies over several years.“Given this sustained outperformance, the committee does not consider the current levels of remuneration to be appropriately aligned with performance,” the report said
It will take more than £600m a year to boost UK industrial competitiveness | Nils Pratley
It is “bold action” to boost UK competitiveness, claimed the government. Not everybody shared that assessment of the British industrial competitiveness scheme (Bics), the long-awaited plan to cut electricity bills for UK manufacturers by up to 25% – or, at least, to cut them for a subset of firms that are aligned with the eight chosen sectors of the “modern” industrial strategy.“Gas intensive industries in the UK have been shamefully ignored by the government in this announcement – it’s a total disgrace,” said Gary Smith, the general secretary of the GMB union, banging the drum for the likes of ceramics-makers and brickmakers that aren’t deemed modern enough for support. Employer bodies mostly did the polite thing of welcoming government assistance of any form before using phrases such as “drop in the ocean”.And, it’s true, £600m a year across 10,000 companies isn’t much
IMF chief Georgieva warns ‘everyone will feel the impact’ of energy price shock, as UK growth beats forecasts – as it happened
Over in Washington DC, the International Monetary Fund is holding a debate on the global economy.IMF chief Kristalina Georgieva says the world economy is facing another, large, shock:double quotation markThe world economy has been, very resilient over the last few years, facing shock after the shock. And this resilience is tested yet again, this time by a shock that is large.Twenty percent of oil and gas is stuck in the Strait of Hormuz, depriving primarily Asia, but also Europe, and other parts of the world of a vital resource. It is global
Europe has only six weeks’ supply of jet fuel left owing to Iran war, says energy chief
Europe has only six weeks of jet fuel left before shortages will hit because of the Iran war, according to the head of a global energy watchdog.Fatih Birol, the executive director of the International Energy Agency, said there would be flight cancellations “soon” if oil supplies from the Middle East were not restored within the coming weeks.“I can tell you soon we will hear the news that some of the flights from city A to city B might be cancelled as a result of lack of jet fuel,” he told the Associated Press.KLM, part of the Air France-KLM group, said on Thursday it would cut 160 flights in the coming month because of high kerosene jet fuel prices. Although less than 1% of its schedule, the cancellations underline the financial pressures on the airline industry
Metro Bank boss handed record £2.6m a year after slashing 1,000 jobs
Metro Bank’s chief executive has been handed a £2.6m pay packet – the largest in its history – a year after slashing 1,000 jobs in response to the lender’s near collapse.The figure is more than double the £1.2m Dan Frumkin was paid in 2024. Metro pushed through the pay bump and complex bonus scheme for the former RBS and Northern Rock banker at a shareholder meeting last year
Rachel Reeves to raise windfall tax on low-carbon electricity generators
Oil price drops below $90 a barrel after Iran says strait of Hormuz is open
Kenyan firm sacks more than 1,000 workers after losing Meta contract
UK’s OnlyFans tops $3bn valuation amid talks to sell stake to US investor
O’Sullivan and Trump no-shows spoil mood before World Snooker Championship
Lancashire to put matches behind paywall; Rew sparkles for Somerset on rain-hit day – as it happened