Jimmy Kimmel on Elon Musk’s Doge tenure: ‘He came, he chainsawed, we bled, he left’
With most late-night hosts on vacation, Jimmy Kimmel celebrates the end of Elon Musk’s term in Washington and riffs on the new Taco nickname for Donald Trump.Jimmy Kimmel celebrated a big announcement on Thursday evening: Elon Musk, Donald Trump’s head of the so-called “department of government efficiency” (Doge), posted on X that he would officially step down from his post and leave Washington DC.“We’re just happy that your time as a special government employee has come to an end,” Kimmel said.“Elon had a remarkable 130-day stint in government,” he continued, speaking of Musk’s highly controversial and much-loathed stint of firing civil service workers.“He came, he chainsawed, we bled, he left.
When he started, he promised to save us a trillion dollars, now he says Doge will probably only save about $160bn.Or as most everyone else says, he probably cost us hundreds of billions of dollars.”Officials from the Internal Revenue Service have said that cuts at the agency will result in a minimum of $500bn in uncollected taxes this year.“But here’s the thing: politics isn’t about money,” said Kimmel.“It isn’t about success, it’s not about failure.
It’s about the lives of the civil servants you destroy along the way.That’s what is most important.”“And Elon promised that Doge’s work will go on,” he added.“Similar to how the empire continued killing ewoks after the emperor died.”Now that he has left Washington, Musk can “return to his primary job”, Kimmel said, “which is destroying companies and inseminating every woman in sight”.
And it creates a problem for Trump, as he “doesn’t have anybody to take the blame for him anymore”.Trump is currently blaming the Court of International Trade, which ruled unanimously this week that he does not have the authority to enact his so-called “reciprocal tariffs” on most countries.“The DoJ claims that stopping these tariffs would take away Trump’s leverage in trade negotiations and embolden other countries to take advantage of them,” Kimmel explained.“Basically, the court pulled down his pants and showed China his little mushroom, and they’re mad.”Since taking office in January, Trump has changed his tariffs policy more than 50 times, “as any stable genius would”, Kimmel quipped.
The flip-flopping has led to a nickname making the rounds on Wall Street: Taco, an acronym for Trump Always Chickens Out,“You’re not going to believe it – he doesn’t like the nickname at all,” Kimmel laughed,But it seems to be catching on, at least according to Kimmel’s search of Taco-themed AI images on social media,“How does it feel to be on the other end of the nickname game?” Kimmel wondered,“Not great, does it? The only thing that would make it worse is if somebody changed the lyrics to a song by his beloved Village People to drive it home.
” And with that, Kimmel introduced a Trump montage featuring “Taco Man” to the tune of Macho Man,
Giro d’Italia winner Simon Yates hails ‘huge moment in my career’
Simon Yates reflected on a “sweet success” he had been targeting for much of his life after a spectacular and decisive coup in Saturday’s final mountain stage ensured he would ride to victory in the Giro d’Italia on Sunday.At 32, the Lancastrian had not been tipped to add to his sole Grand Tour victory, the 2018 Tour of Spain, but in the mammoth stage over the Colle Delle Finestre, he confounded those expectations to win the sport’s second most prestigious race, after the Tour de France.“It’s a huge moment in my career, a defining moment maybe,” Yates said after the Giro’s closing stage in Rome. “I don’t think anything comes close. I’m just incredibly proud of the whole team over the three weeks
Iga Swiatek stages stunning comeback to reach French Open quarter-finals
After another sad second serve rebounded off the top of the net and floated out on a break point, Iga Swiatek turned to her support team and frantically gestured her rage. She had simply not shown up. As Elena Rybakina bulldozed through the early stages of their highly anticipated fourth-round tussle, Swiatek trailed 6-1, 2-0 and her hopes of victory were fading.For much of this year, Swiatek has struggled to find her form when forced into difficult positions against her toughest rivals. However, she showed her resilience here with a supreme 1-6, 6-3, 7-5 statement win against the 12th seed, to return to the quarter-finals of the French Open
England edge West Indies to win second ODI as Root scores 166 not out – as it happened
Read all about it with Simon’s report:What an incredible innings from Root – intelligent, ruthless and easy, so easy, on the eye. He came in at 2-2 and carried England home with more than half the runs – an on drive for four popping the champagne.Alzarri Joseph was magnificent with the ball – just a shame West Indies tailed off towards the end with the bat – and didn’t make more of England’s fielding mishaps – or the game could have been even tighter.And as they start packing away in Cardiff, time for us to say goodbye too. Thanks for your company – we’ll be back for the last game in this series at The Oval on Tuesday, starting at 1pm BST
Joe Root’s magical 166 guides England to ODI series win over West Indies
England spent much of this game digging themselves into not so much a hole as a full-blown trench, a toxic combination of regular errors and occasional misfortune leaving them in a truly desperate situation, apparently destined for convincing and deserved defeat. Enter Joe Root, and an innings for the ages.Root produced a display of ethereal stroke-making on his way to a stunning, unbeaten 166, a batting performance of such beauty that the ugliness of much that came before will be forgotten. It was his highest score in one-day internationals, propelling him past Eoin Morgan to become England’s leading run-scorer in this format, and the first Englishman to score more than 7,000. It ended with a straight drive that brought his 23rd boundary, victory by three wickets, and a series secured with a game to spare
Giro d’Italia: Simon Yates seals overall victory as Olav Kooij wins final stage – as it happened
Here is Jeremy Whittle’s Stage 21 report:Thanks for reading and emailing in. Congratulations to Simon Yates and all the team. See you next time.“Life comes around, it gives and it takes.”“Honestly, I think it’s really still sinking in,” says the Giro d’Italia champion
French Open: Swiatek and Sabalenka advance, Paolini out – as it happened
Alcaraz attacks from the off on Shelton’s serve, getting the break back at the first opportunity, to 15, as Shelton skews wide. Having waited more than two hours to break, Shelton will be mad at himself that he conceded it without a fight. A quick hold from Alcaraz, and they’re back on serve, with the defending champ up 7-6, 6-3, 3-3. And Tiafoe is about to serve for the first set, leading Altmaier 5-3. I’m afraid that’s all from us for today, but do join us again tomorrow when the fourth round continues
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French Open: Zverev and Pegula in action, Gauff wins, Norrie v Djokovic to come – live
Simon Yates rides away with prize of Giro d’Italia while rivals lose the plot | William Fotheringham