Never mind Bazball, this was Bazbrawl: say goodbye to happy-go-lucky England | Andy Bull
India broke a golden rule in the third Test: don’t try to pick a fight with Ben StokesThere was a large handwritten sign propped against the inside wall of the North Gate of Lord’s.“In affectionate remembrance of Bazball,” it said, the letters drawn in the bacon‑and-egg colours of an MCC tie, “which died at Lord’s on 10 July, 2025.RIP.” The stewards must have taken it off one of the Indian fans who hadn’t read the small print on his fifth-day ticket.Lord’s being the place it is, instead of stuffing it into a bin, they had put it aside and popped an item ticket on the top corner in case the writer wanted to pick it up on his way back out of the ground.
It was still there six hours later, waiting for someone to reclaim it at the end of one of the great Tests.God, but the win was hard work, and a hell of a time coming.At times the fifth day felt more like an elaborate metaphor about the futility of human endeavour, a performance piece in which Ben Stokes bowled an endless succession of bouncers while Ravindra Jadeja steadfastly refused to take any of the many runs on offer in an attempt to protect his batting partners at the other end from having to face him.It’s impossible to imagine how a batter could fight harder for his side than Jadeja did through the afternoon.It was one of the grittiest fourth innings played in a losing cause.
He and Stokes were like two of those old Victorian prizefighters who used to scrap for a hundred rounds.There are a lot of rules at Lord’s.No, you can’t bring in a sign.No, you can’t bring in a flag.Or an instrument.
No, you can’t wear fancy dress.Yes, you do need a tailored jacket, tie or cravat to get into the pavilion.No, jeans, leggings and T-shirts are not appropriate clothing.As ever in England, it’s the unwritten rules that really catch people out – always start with the outside cutlery and, as India just discovered, don’t try to pick a fight with Stokes, a man who once broke his hand punching a locker because it looked at him funny.This really ought to be a golden rule.
Like never start a land war in Asia, or go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.Australia did it back in 2023, when Alex Carey made that underarm throw to run out Jonny Bairstow as he wandered out of his ground.They were lucky to escape with a 43-run victory after Stokes turned berserk and flogged 93 runs, including nine sixes, off his next 88 balls.This week, it was Shubman Gill’s turn.He made 386 good decisions in a row when he scored that faultless double hundred in the second Test at Edgbaston, but he made one glaringly bad one at Lord’s when he decided to poke Zak Crawley in the chest and tell him to “grow some fucking balls” when he kept pulling away from the crease on Saturday evening.
Stokes was never going to let that go,After three days smouldering in the heatwave, the match was set alight,On Sunday, Mohammed Siraj was fined for barging with Ben Duckett during his celebrations after he had dismissed him; on Monday Stokes himself had to step between Jadeja and Brydon Carse when the two of them squared up after they collided with each other in the middle of the pitch, while Jofra Archer shot a few choice words at Rishabh Pant in his follow-through after he bowled him with a nip‑backer in the moment after Pant had skipped down the pitch to belt him for four through long-on,Archer came back into the attack when the match was on the line, and nailed Siraj on the shoulder with a vicious bouncer,He didn’t stop then to check on the batter, but walked back to his station in the outfield.
Never mind Bazball,This was Bazbrawl,Sign up to The SpinSubscribe to our cricket newsletter for our writers' thoughts on the biggest stories and a review of the week’s actionafter newsletter promotionEngland aren’t playing like the happy-go-lucky side who breezed through all those four-day Tests last summer,India are too good to take on that way, the problems they ask demand better answers than scoops, sixes, and silly fields, and England have had to dig right down deep into themselves to find them,There were moments when you wondered whether they ever would.
There was the briefest pause when the last wicket finally fell, as if no one could really believe it had happened after all that trying.Then, as Shoaib Bashir ran madcap across the field, sprinting, skipping, leaping away from the teammates who were chasing him in celebration of the most important wicket he has ever taken, Archer, out on the boundary, collapsed on the ground, exhausted, overcome, and very happy to be back playing Test cricket.He lay face down, overcome with relief, and eventually roused himself, with a big grin, before he trotted off to join the rest of his team who were, by then, busy commiserating with the two defeated Indian batters, who had given everything, and demanded everything of England in return.
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