Jimmy Kimmel on the Trump administration: ‘They have better-quality cabinets at Ikea’

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Late-night hosts tore into Donald Trump’s five-hour Truth Social posting spree and his inability to stay awake during cabinet meetings,Jimmy Kimmel wasted no time in returning to his favorite target – Donald Trump – on Tuesday evening,“I know I’ve said this before, but for real this time: he went completely off the rails last night,” the host began,“The man who is allegedly running the country banged out an onslaught of posts and reposts in a furious social media blitzkrieg that started at 7,09pm, went nonstop until almost midnight.

”In that five-hour span on Monday night, Kimmel noted, the president posted 116 times, at an average of every two minutes.“Do you know how long you have to be on the toilet to post that much?” he laughed.“I mean, what is he eating?”Kimmel then mocked Trump’s press-friendly cabinet meeting on Tuesday, in which he baselessly and impossibly claimed that revenue from his tariffs would lead to the elimination of the US income tax.“Well, he would know – he hasn’t paid income tax in, what, 50 years?” Kimmel noted.“Does anyone believe we’re not going to have income tax to pay? This is like the kid running for student council who promises soda in the drinking fountains.

It makes no sense.”During the meeting, Trump also pushed back on a recent New York Times report that he had cut back on public appearances because he’s showing signs of fatigue.“Which is ridiculous.Does this look like a man who is showing signs of fatigue?” Kimmel joked before clips of Trump appearing to fall asleep at the meeting, even dozing off during a presentation by the gravelly voiced Robert F Kennedy Jr.“I mean, if you can sleep through that voice, you are tired.

You are fatigued,” he said.“Of course he’s tired – he was up all night posting!”Kimmel then launched into a blistering summary of the Trump cabinet in attendance: “We have a twice-baked RFK Jr, who is now embroiled in a sex-and-drug scandal with a reporter nearly 40 years his junior.Our secretary of war is murdering unidentified civilians and trying to throw the admiral who is following orders under the boat.The director of the FBI is reportedly using a private jet for personal travel with his country music star girlfriend and delayed a murder investigation until somebody brought him an FBI jacket that fit his little body.“We’ve got the attorney general turning the justice department into the Keystone Cops,” he continued.

“We have a wrestling magnate running the Department of Education who wants to get rid of the Department of Education.Our director of homeland security somehow has made killing a puppy the least controversial thing she’s done.She’s busy rounding up college girls and deporting them to God knows where.And our healthcare is in the vitamin supplement-powered hands of Dr Oz.“They have better-quality cabinets at Ikea,” he concluded.

The year 2025 has “been a rough one”, said Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s Late Show.“I mean, obviously, there’s no one to blame for that, other than Donald Trump.“And a lot of people are,” he said, citing a new Gallup poll that found the president’s approval rating has dropped to 36%, with 60% disapproval.“Which is why Trump has started wearing a new hat: ‘More Popular Than Syphilis’,” Colbert joked.“So Trump is underwater in every category,” he continued, showing specific disapproval numbers on the economy, healthcare, the Epstein files, education and the environment.

“Donald Trump is also the most hated Zootopia character, the lowest-rated midsize sedan and the least popular Oreo flavor, double-stuffed cankle,” Colbert quipped,But Trump’s worst bugbear as president remains the cost of living for average Americans,“He has been trying everything he can think of, which is not much,” said Colbert,On Tuesday, in one of his “weird cabinet meetings” that lasted three hours, Trump “addressed the affordability crisis head-on”,Specifically, Trump dismissed the concept of “affordability” as a “con job by the Democrats”.

“It’s one of the many con job words made up by the Democrats, like democracy, dementia and da-Epstein files,” Colbert joked.Colbert also commented on Trump appearing to nap during his own cabinet meeting.“Let’s be fair – maybe he’s so old that he fell asleep in an afternoon meeting, or maybe he just closed his eyes to better concentrate on filling his adult diaper,” he speculated.“Then, he fell asleep.”Pete Hegseth has responded to war crime allegations with a bold combination of scapegoating and s**tposting pic.

twitter.com/QPHRjYZ05KAnd on The Daily Show, Desi Lydic checked in on the self-proclaimed “secretary of war”, Pete Hegseth, now in hot water for authorizing strikes on supposedly suspected drug-runner boats off the coast of Venezuela.Members of both parties and experts have said that the strikes constitute war crimes.“There’s one thing we know: if somebody did something wrong, he’s going to man up and take responsibility as the secretary of war,” Lydic deadpanned.Hegseth, naturally, placed the blame squarely on his commander, Adm Mitch Bradley.

On X, Hegseth wrote: “I stand by him and the combat decisions he has made – on the September 2 mission and all others since,”“What a little bitch,” said Lydic,“Blaming someone by pretending to praise them? ‘I stand by him and all the decisions he made on his own, while I was out of the room,If you want to get to him, you’re going to have to get through me – and I will let you do that,’”“I also love how Pete’s pre-blaming Bradley for ‘all the others since’,” she added.

“So yeah, things are starting to look a little dicey for the secretary of defensiveness, but Pete is fighting back the way a true warrior does: with memes.”Hegseth posted an image of Franklin the Turtle, a children’s character, shooting at a boat from a helicopter.“This whole image is deeply disturbing,” said Lydic.“Especially the part where the turtle is wearing a helmet – why is he wearing a helmet? His whole body is a helmet.”
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Cummins conundrum is key as Australia try not to overthink tactics

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Nicola Pietrangeli obituary

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Oval Invincibles will be renamed as MI London for the Hundred in 2026

Oval Invincibles, the Hundred’s most successful franchise, will be competing as MI London next year, the name favoured by their new Indian co-owners.The change of name brings the men’s and women’s teams, who between them have won Hundred titles in each of the past five years, in line with the rest of the Ambani family’s Mumbai Indians holdings which, in addition to its Indian Premier League team, includes MI Cape Town in the SA20, MI Emirates in the ILT20 and MI New York in Major League Cricket.The Ambanis, through their Reliance company, bought 49% of Oval Invincibles in an auction which valued the franchise at £123m. Surrey will retain a 51% share in the franchise and marks the completion of the final deal from the England and Wales Cricket Board’s sale of equity stakes in the Hundred this year.Surrey said on Wednesday in a statement: “Surrey county cricket club and Reliance today announced their partnership in the Oval Invincibles franchise in the Hundred

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Terence Crawford dethroned over $300k fee, handing Britain’s Sheeraz title shot

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Favourable 2027 Rugby World Cup draw provides few potholes for England | Robert Kitson

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Wallabies must improve as World Cup draw delivers daunting All Blacks clash | Angus Fontaine

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