The 12 Beans of ChristmasTouring to 19 December Last year, character comedians Adam Riches and John Kearns joined forces for an archly silly tribute to crooners Michael Ball and Alfie Boe.Now Riches is back with another leftfield celebrity riff as he gives his Game of Thrones-era Sean Bean impression (as seen on 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown and his Edinburgh show Dungeons’n’Bastards) a yuletide twist.Rachel AroestiThe BFGRoyal Shakespeare theatre, Stratford-upon-Avon, to 7 February Are you ready for snozzcumbers and dream-catchers, for norphans and whizzpoppers? A stellar team have come together for this world premiere of Roald Dahl’s children’s classic, with a script courtesy of Tom Wells (Jumpers for Goalposts) and puppetry by the masterful Toby Olié (Spirited Away).John Leader heads up the cast for this beloved story of an orphan befriending a giant; Daniel Evans directs.Kate WyverCount Arthur Strong Is Charles Dickens in A Christmas CarolTouring to 14 December The reliably bewildered and chronically digressive one-time variety star takes his tangent-riddled festive show on tour again.

As Strong (Steve Delaney) resumes the role of the Victorian author for an unwieldy performance of his classic Christmas novel, prepare for terrible tricks, awkwardly repurposed props and a persistent bassline of chaotic confusion.RAEbony ScroogeSadler’s Wells East, London, to 4 January A brand new Christmas show from ZooNation, the company known for its hip-hop rewrites of classic titles.This one puts a new (head)spin on Dickens’s A Christmas Carol, with Scrooge as a formidable fashion label boss who needs to learn some lessons about the true meaning of happiness.A feelgood, family-friendly show.Lindsey WinshipThe Little MermaidThe Watermill theatre, Newbury, to 4 January Hans Christian Andersen’s classic fairytale is transported to a magical realm far beyond the Cornish coast in Lara Barbier’s new musical adaptation.

With original music and lyrics by Amie Parsons, one half of Cornish folk duo True Foxes, folk stories weave their way into this ethereal, sea-salty world for families, where the Landfolk’s song lures the daughter of the Sea King,KWA Merry MisruleBattersea Arts Centre, London, 29 November to Christmas EveImmersive magic-makers Wild Rumpus return for another takeover of Battersea Arts Centre, great news for anyone who experienced the heart-soaring feeling of seeing their illuminated wolf puppet several years ago in Solstice,This year’s enchanting family adventure sets wanderers in the midst of chaos as yuletide traditions run riot, with the task of bringing harmony back for Christmas,KWBeauty and the BeastCitizens theatre, Glasgow, 2 December to New Year’s EveAfter seven years, Glasgow’s Citizens theatre reopened its doors this autumn,Now it welcomes audiences back for the Christmas season with Lewis Hetherington’s (Red Riding Hood) bold adaptation of Beauty and the Beast.

Mischief is in the air for this family show that champions being kind and being yourself, with live music composed by Nikola Kodjabashia.KWThe Magic FluteDanceEast, Ipswich, 12 to 14 December; The Place, London, 17 December to Christmas EveLuca Silvestrini’s Protein Dance charmed audiences with its last family show, The Little Prince.You can expect it to do the same with the UK premiere of Silvestrini’s new show, The Magic Flute.It’s a playful combo of storytelling, singing and dancing based on Mozart’s opera, with an emphasis on themes of love and friendship.Age 5+.

LWZootropolis 2Out now Christmas wouldn’t quite be Christmas without a big, bright family animation,Foxy police officer Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman) and cute as a button bunny cop Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin) tackle their latest assignment: investigate new player in town Gary De’Snake (Ke Huy Quan),This instalment also introduces a family of lynxes including runt-of-the-litter Pawbert (Andy Samberg) and business leader Milton (David Strathairn),The ShiningOut 12 December Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) has been employed as winter caretaker to the ill-omened Overlook Hotel, and he’s brought his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and young son Danny (Danny Lloyd) along for the ride,That makes Stanley Kubrick’s horror – rereleased for its 45th anniversary – a contender for a festive film in our book: it’s got plenty of snow, seasonally green foliage, cosy knitwear and a big knife fit to carve even the fattest of turkeys.

Silent Night, Deadly NightOut 12 December You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why: Billy (Rohan Campbell) the seasonal killing spree maniac is coming to town.Per Billy’s traumatic backstory as established in the gritty 1984 original, Christmas is a time for stabbing and shivving, while wearing a holly jolly Santa outfit.Avatar: Fire and AshOut 19 December Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, Sigourney Weaver, Kate Winslet: the gang’s all here for the third instalment of James Cameron’s epic yarn, detailing the various conflicts between humans and the Na’vi.The philosophy of these films is very much one of goodwill to all people/Na’vi kind.Cameron’s work might have been more fun when he was creating Terminators, but that would be an uncharitable thought in the season of peace on Earth.

Marty SupremeOut Boxing Day Directed by the Josh half of the Safdie brothers, this sports comedy is (very) loosely inspired by Marty Reisman, the New York ping pong player known as “the Needle” for his slight stature, quick play and even quicker wit.Timothée Chalamet stars as Marty, setting Oscar buzz a-buzzing for his flamboyant, zesty performance.With support from Gwyneth Paltrow, Abel Ferrara and Fran Drescher.The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePantsOut Boxing Day Who even needs a present under the tree when the fourth SpongeBob feature film is here.This time, the amiable yellow tube sponge is on a quest to find the Flying Dutchman (voiced by Mark Hamill), the ghost ship of legend, here found haunting the seven seas because his corpse was used as a window display.

Catherine BrayMarie Antoinette StyleV&A South Kensington, London, to 22 March Fairytale frocks and fantastical jewels, haunting paintings and porcelain make this a magical show for the holiday season.The 18th-century queen Marie Antoinette lived like a Disney princess, as surviving examples of her clothes and necklaces show, but her dream existence came to a cruel end in the French Revolution.Not many exhibitions include both a photograph of Kate Moss done up in ancien régime style, and the actual guillotine that may have beheaded Marie Antoinette.Space: Could Life Exist Beyond Earth?Natural History Museum, London, to 22 February Astronomy always feels part of Christmas, possibly because of the story of the Magi following a star, or just the night skies of midwinter – and this is a good holiday exhibition for all ages.Interactive displays with levers, buttons and spinning planets add to the fun as you follow the paths of life-seeking robot spacecraft to the limits of our solar system, then look farther at the discoveries of Earth-like exoplanets orbiting distant stars.

Turner: Always ContemporaryWalker Art Gallery, Liverpool, to 22 February Winter’s winds and rains are reflected majestically in JMW Turner’s paintings.No artist is better suited to the year’s darkest days.But if that sounds too brooding for Christmas his influence gets a fun twist here, with a Damien Hirst pickled shark among the contemporary works mixed with his masterpieces.Turner had a huge impact on the first modernists, as a work by Monet shows.He still seems contemporary because his art is so restless.

William KentridgeYorkshire Sculpture Park, nr Wakefield, to 19 April If you need something to wake you up after days of mince pies and turkey, the fresh air of Yorkshire Sculpture Park and its excellent show by South Africa’s great William Kentridge may do the trick.The films are the most mind-boggling things in this mini retrospective, from a hilarious, eerie animated history of the Russian Revolution to the artist having a long argument with his double about what really happened in his own life.Jonathan JonesD-Block Europe to 19 December Young Adz and Dirtbike LB, AKA south  London’s Brit-nominated rap duo D-Block Europe, continue their upwards trajectory – across their various albums and mixtapes they’ve scored eight Top 10 albums – on this mammoth arena tour.Having collaborated with everyone from Ed Sheeran to Burna Boy via Raye, a guest appearance or two shouldn’t be out of the question.Michael CraggWolf Alice2; touring to 10 DecemberAcross four critically lauded albums, London quartet Wolf Alice have steadily blossomed from spectral indie rockers into full-blown arena pop-rock superstars.

While August’s Greg Kurstin-assisted The Clearing will likely make a bit more sense come next summer’s festivals, for now let its 70s-indebted feel warm the winter gloom.MCBBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra 90th Birthday ConcertCity Halls, Glasgow, 4 DecemberThe BBC SSO turns 90 this month.This celebration concert with chief conductor Ryan Wigglesworth starts in wild style with a new Bacchanale from the uncategorisable composer Ayanna Witter-Johnson.Stephen Hough takes centre stage in Grieg’s warhorse Piano Concerto; Tippett’s oratorio A Child of Our Time will harness the energy of the National Youth Choir of Scotland and a fine quartet of soloists led by Pumeza Matshikiza.Erica JealKylie Minogue – Kylie Christmas (Fully Wrapped)Out 5 December The Christmas fairy to Mariah’s snow queen celebrates the 10-year anniversary of her festive opus, Kylie Christmas, by cherrypicking the best of the original album and chucking on four new songs.

One of them, the camptastic single Xmas, is a riot of twinkling bells, cheerleader pep and a bucket load of office party fizz.MCRnB Xmas Ball 2025 7 to 14 December; tour starts London The annual R&B nostalgia fest returns with another top-notch lineup featuring He Wasn’t Man Enough hitmaker Toni Braxton, ballad belters Boyz II Men, gyrating Lotharios Dru Hill (fronted by thong fanatic Sisqó) and smooth soul crooner Joe.End of the Road, Un-Break My Heart, How Deep Is Your Love; you can’t go wrong! MCAriodanteRoyal Opera House, London, 9 to 21 DecemberAriodante is one of Handel’s great operas and includes some of his most deeply felt arias.Jetske Mijnssen, who made a big impression with Glyndebourne’s first Parsifal this summer, makes her Covent Garden debut with a new production.Stefano Montanari conducts a cast led by two rising stars: the Canadian mezzo-soprano Emily D’Angelo in the title role and the US soprano Jacquelyn Stucker as his beloved Ginevra.

EJGuy Barker’s Big Band ChristmasRoyal Albert Hall, London, 17 December Seasonal title reference notwithstanding, this Royal Albert Hall annual event is a long way from the turkey musical hardliners might assume, because the remarkable artist programming it knows creative jazz-making inside out.Leader Guy Barker pulls together new arrangements of classic songs and reinventions of recent ones, with a cracking big band and classy star guests.John FordhamPercy Pursglove/Trinity Laban Jazz OrchestraVortex Jazz Club, London, 18 December One of European jazz and improvised music’s most versatile instrumentalists, and moreover a choral and orchestral composer, Percy Pursglove emerged a decade ago as a brilliant genre-fluid trumpeter, and a comparably adventurous big-band writer.The excellent Trinity Laban Jazz Orchestra back his soaring trumpet lines here on his own composition for Hamburg’s famous NDR Bigband.JF